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10/22/11
Yard Sales and Other Deadly Sins

There's a church with a reader-board sign across the street from the entrance to my neighborhood. The church likes to put little witty and thoughtful sayings on it, and I like to read them as I'm pulling out of my neighborhood. That is until the other day, when they put this one up:

"He who thinks he is without fault has another yard sale".

And I was like, "Hmmmm. I'm not sure I get that one. Are yard sales spiritual no-nos? Yard sales are of the devil? Or do they mean that people who have yard sales have faults? Is yard sale metaphorical? Do they mean that the junk cluttering up our lives is a fault? Or that trying to sell your junk to other people is a fault? I was just telling Tony the other day that we needed to get rid of some of our miscellaneous flotsam, but I'M CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO HAVE A YARD SALE NOW!"

Anyway, this sign bothered me for days. DAYS! And maybe you're all smarter than me and you've already figured it out, but I was completely clueless until Tony called me on his way back to work today.

Tony: You know that church sign that's been bothering you?
Me: You mean the yard sale one? Why? Did you figure out what it means?
Tony: Yeah. It needs a period.
Me: A period is a fault or a period is a yard sale?
Tony: No. The sign reads "He who thinks he is without fault has another fault, as in his fault is that he thinks he has no faults. Then a period. End of sentence. New sentence: Yard sale. As in, the church is having a yard sale.

Oh.

Well yes, I suppose that makes sense.

Maybe the yard sale is to raise money to buy some punctuation.


10/12/11
Joyride

ZB gets a "Jeep" walker for racing around in the kitchen. General mayhem ensues. Luckily, I caught it on video:

video

10/6/11
An Egg-cellent Question

I have a conundrum for you, Internets.

See, the Noble House of Quirk was officially out of food and diapers and shampoo and dishwasher soap and diapers and cat litter and diapers, so the ZB and I made a trek out to the local Walmart to procure these much needed items. (I know all two of you are out there going, "So you went grocery shopping. What's the problem?" but I'm not to the sticky part yet, so just hold on. This here's what we like to call "setting the scene"). Anyway. We shopped, and shopped, and shopped, and finally, once our hunting and gathering was complete, made our way up to the checkout lines.

(Sidenote: Why is it that whenever I enter a Walmart, the cashiers are all waiting hopefully at the front of their conveyor belts for some happy shopper to come along, but by the time I finish my shopping, all the lines are 12 people deep with two overflowing carts apiece? Doesn't matter if I'm in there 30 seconds or 3 hours. As soon as I point my cart towards the checkout, the floodgates open and these people materialize out of nowhere. How does that happen? Can anyone tell me?)

By the way, that's not the conundrum either. That's just an example of my inability to stay on topic. The conundrum came when I got home and started unloading the groceries and discovered I had a pack of hotdog buns and 18 eggs.

This is alarming because I did not purchase hotdog buns or eggs.

As near as I can figure it, the woman in line ahead of me purchased the buns and eggs and left them in the little spinning baggie thing. And when I checked out after her, the stuff got all intermingled and I grabbed the bag thinking it was mine. So now the question is, Internets, what do I do with them?

My first reaction was to take them back to Walmart and explain what happened. I mean, obviously anyone who buys 18 eggs at one time really likes them. But would the woman come back to the store for them? Do you drive back to walmart over a missing bag of eggs and hotdog buns, or do you just write them off as a loss?

Also, Tony pointed out that because they were food items and had left the store, Walmart might not give them back even if the woman did come asking for them. They would probably just throw them away in case I poisoned them or whatever. (Not that I would ever do that, but Tony is in food safety, so he thinks about these kinds of things. And I have to admit that if the shoe was on the other foot, I might be hesitant to eat something that had gone joyriding for several unsupervised hours with a stranger).

But on the other hand, this is this woman's food. They are her groceries. She bought them for a reason. Keeping them would be taking food that she rightly paid for out of her and her family's mouth. Maybe they NEED those eggs. Groceries aren't cheap, you know.

So this is my quandary. I don't want the food to be wasted, but at the same time I don't want to keep food that is not mine. And yes, we would use it, but we don't need it, and she might. So what's the call here Internets? Take the food back to the store and hope she returns for it, or keep the food and eat lots of omelets and hotdogs in the future? My gut is saying return it, but I just don't know if that is practical. Anyone ever been in a similar situation? What did you do?