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12/30/10
10 weeks

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I was looking at the calendar today, and it occurred to me that I probably only have about 10 weeks left of being pregnant. (I'm 27 and a half weeks now...they figure I won't get to the full 40 weeks, so 37 and a half weeks sounds pretty accurate at this point). But 10 weeks! Do you know how fast that goes?! 10 weeks is nothing! A blink of an eye! And then she'll be here and...and I'm just not sure I'm ready.

I mean, I just got used to the idea of being pregnant. I was doing okay with the doctor visits and playing set up the nursery, but I'm not sure I'm ready for this whole life-as-you-know-it-will-change-forever bit. It was a big enough adjustment just to get to this point, and this was the easy part!

I know that the whole point of all this incubating is so that she can eventually make her way out into the world, and I'd love to meet her, I really would...but at the same time, part of me wants her to stay right where she is now. I like her in here where she's all safe and easy to carry around. She takes care of all her needs automatically. I can't really screw it up. Now I have 10 weeks to figure out how to take care of a baby, and I'm not sure it's enough time. I've been so focused on the pregnancy part that it didn't really occur to me that I'd need to know stuff for when she actually gets here. And I'm not just talking about the feeding and the changing and the bathing stuff. I'm talking about the other stuff...the not as apparent stuff. The stuff I haven't even thought to ask about yet, but am still supposed to know. (I'm so in the dark that I don't even know what stuff I don't know). I'm afraid that we'll going to break her out of ignorance. I'm afraid the world will break her out of ignorance.

Plus, (and I know this is selfish of me) I kinda like having her all to myself. She's mine, and right now I don't have to share her with anyone else. All her rolls and kicks and hiccups? They're for me alone. I get her 24/7, and I never have to leave her. Like my shadow, or an invisible friend. Why should I have to share her? We already have each other.

I realize that this is exactly why no one gets a choice about when they are born. When it's time, it's time, no matter what my personal preferences are for her staying. And maybe in another couple of months I'll become big and miserable and be like those women who are all, "I CANNOT WAIT TO GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME ALREADY!", but right now?

10 weeks seems frighteningly short.

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Tater Mama's avatar - Go to profile

Tater Mama · 744 weeks ago

Well, you're right on track for the panic to set in. Don't worry, though. Everything will come to you. And after a few nights of her screaming until you think she's going to blow a lung, you'll be more than ready to share her! Haha! Enjoy the next 10 weeks, though, because it'll be a long time before you can go anywhere (even to the bathroom) by yourself or without taking 92 pieces of equipment with you. You're going to love being a mother, but it'll rock your world in about 384 different ways! Haha! (I can giggle because I've been there. Heck, I AM there...times two.)

It'll all be fine. Your mama instinct will kick in immediately, and I promise you won't break her. She's already stronger than you think. As are you.
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Quirky · 744 weeks ago

Thanks for the kind words Tater Mama. I really needed to hear (read) them. Most of the time I'm fine, but every now and then I get hit with a "Holy crap! This is really happening!" moment, and it totally freaks me out. 40 weeks seemed like plenty of time, but 10? Where did all that time go?

I hope you're right about the mama instinct. Otherwise we'll all be in trouble! :-)
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Mama Quirk · 743 weeks ago

First thought: You'll be fine, she'll be fine and the family the three of you become will be so fine in so many new ways you'll never miss the old. (And you'll wonder why you waited so long to have her!)

After all, having a child is a choice that MANY people (for sure the majority) would pass on if there was that big a chance you would be miserable, break the baby, ruin the marriage, ruin your life, ruin the baby's life, etc. The blessings SO out-weigh the tough times you have to experience it to believe it!

Second thought: 10 weeks? Man, that's not till Spring! Why does it have to take so long??? Will she NEVER get here? I want to hold her for a while-you've had her for months!!! (Imagine INTENSE whining here!)
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Annie · 743 weeks ago

Hi, congratulations on your pregnancy! I had to smile when I read your post. I pretty much had the exact same thoughts as does every first time mom. Babies are way more resilient than you think as I found out after having a very very active son. Two pieces of advice if I may: Take lots and lots and lots of pictures, they change so fast. Blog/journal everything. You forget so fast.

At the moment they place her in your arms for the first time, your world will never be the same again. And you will know what to do. You are going to be a great mom. :)
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write my essays · 544 weeks ago

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