5/15/12 A Little of This, A Little of That

Hola Internets!
I thought I'd drop in to give you an update on the tree situation, as well as a Mother's Day recap and any other random things that happen to pop up while I'm typing.

First off, Mother's Day.  It was very nice despite it being all gray and rainy outside, and sleepless and cranky inside (someone who will remain nameless is teething.  She won't let me see for sure, but I'm thinking the dreaded one year molars.  Suffice it to say, it is a whiny time in the House of Quirk right now...and I don't care how many times Tony tells me to knock it off).  But Tony and ZB gave me a lovely necklace with ZB's name and baby footprint etched into it.  Apparently you scan a copy of the hospital footprint and send it to the company, and they use it to make a tiny replica of your baby's print.  (Or in ZB's case- her giant one).  It makes me smile every time I see it.  Total Mother's day score on that one!

In unrelated news, can I just say how totally bummed I am that Fox is taking the show The Finder off of the air?  (Or took, as the case may be, because I just learned that the season finale was it for the show).  Seriously Fox?!?  I actually LIKED that show!  It wasn't just a carbon copy run-of-the-mill police drama, or medical drama, or (heaven forbid) cheesy reality show.  It had some good one liners, and while it felt like the characters were still finding themselves, I thought the show had potential.  BAD FOX! BAD!  At least give me an epilogue that tells me what happens to everyone!  You can't just leave Willa hitch-hiking by the side of the road!

Speaking of TV, has anyone else seen the preview commercial for Underworld Awakening?  

I haven't seen the movies, and I know nothing about them, which is probably why whenever the previews come one and I hear the line where the main character says, "In the endless war between vampires and lykins...", I always think of this:

Now, I'm probably not the movie's target audience so this "endless war" doesn't really make sense to me, but if I had to guess, I'd put my money on the lichen, because the thought of an algae/fungus combo laying the smack down on the blood-sucking undead cracks me up every time.

Finally, I'm sure you're all dying to get an update about our whole "tree or not to tree" question.  Sure enough, the tree guy came back out last Thursday and was like, "So what's it going to be?"  I cannot tell you how hard this decision has been for me.  It totally consumed my every waking thought for a week and a half.    I went back and forth and back and forth roughly 400 times a day.  And I can't express to you how much I appreciated all your comments and suggestions.  So in the end I decided that the reason that the decision was so hard was because as much as I liked the idea of a small flowering tree, I just couldn't imagine our yard without at least the pin oak in it.  For better or worse, it is a main part of what makes the yard what it is.  So I'm splitting the difference and cutting down the regular oak and keeping the pin oak.  By cutting just one down I can solve the crowding problem and let a little light in for at least half of the grass while still keeping a mature fixture in the yard.  And after talking to the tree guy about just how much they'll cut off the pin oak, I think I can shape it up a little bit on the other side to balance it out and keep it from looking so weird.  So that's that.  As soon as I signed the official paperwork, I instantly felt 100 times better.  The pretty tree is saved, the yard will look brighter and more balanced, and I still get one flowering dogwood as a replacement.  So thank you, beloved Internets.  You have saved a tree and helped me out once again.

The Pin Oak is giving you a standing slow clap.  

10/3/10 10 Reasons

I saw this one on another blog and thought I'd give it a whirl. Beats what I was going to blog about, which was whining about how the football gods done treated my poor Tennessee Vols so, so wrong. (I'm still depressed. And yes, I'm taking it personally).

Anyway.

Here goes:

10 Reasons I'm Glad it's Fall:

10. Wearing jeans all the time now means I don't have to shave my legs as often anymore.

9. Boot season means you can get away with wearing that one pair of weird socks with the stripes that you purchased in a moment of temporary insanity and no one will ever know.

8. 2 words. Halloween Candy. I love a world where I can be anywhere in a grocery store and still be within two steps of the Twix fun size bars.

7. For better or worse, I still consider the hoodie the best fashion invention ever.

6. Sleeping with the windows open allows all the loose cat hair to blow out. It's like nature's way of dusting for me while I sleep!

5. Sweatshirts never need ironing.

4. Bonfires. And s'mores. And setting marshmallows on fire while you just eat the chocolate bar and ignore the graham crackers completely.

3. Crock pot meals! My idea of "home cooking" is tossing various ingredients into the slow cooker and letting that bad boy go to town for 8 or 10 hours.

2. All the weeds in my yard call it a season and give up the ghost (until next spring anyway).

1. There's always another football game next week. Even if a certain team played their little hearts out against LSU, only to win and then get it called back on a penalty for too many men on the field OF ALL THINGS. We had that stinky LSU team beat I tell you! But at least there's always next week.

How about you? Is it feeling like fall where you are yet? What's on your top 10 list?

7/20/10 TV, Music, Movies, and One Sticky Wicket

You know what we haven't done in a while? A 10 on Tuesday. And look! It's a Tuesday! It's like the universe is telling me to string random thoughts together with bullet points!

• Tony's parents and sister can to stay with us this weekend. We made them eat and go to a minor league baseball game (that ended up lasting 14 grueling innings) and eat and box each other on the wii and eat and hike trails at the nature center and eat. Needless to say, a lot of food was consumed. I like seeing them, but my metabolism isn't what it used to be. It takes forever to recover from these weekends. I shudder at the gym time this is going to take.

• There's a Criminal Minds marathon on, and after about 12 episodes, it has dawned on me that every single victim was a young woman. Never any men. Never any old people. (One child abduction, but again, a young woman). Do they only take cases where women are victims? Do they not care about men, children and the elderly? Or are those people just not grievously butchered in the writers' world? Sometimes 4 or 5 women are killed in a single episode. They better be careful or there's going to be a serious shortage of young women if they're all busy being murdered by serial killers. Injudicious thinning of a specific demographic of society will have serious long-term anthropological effects.

• I'm really hooked on the band Frightened Rabbit right now, especially their songs Swim until you can't see land and Backwards Walk. I hum Swim to myself when I'm (what else?) swimming, because the beat corresponds with my strokes. If you haven't checked them out yet, I recommend them.

• Speaking of songs I like, you know that song Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine? I LOVE that song! I added it to my playlist a couple of months ago, but since then I've heard it everywhere! (The preview for that USA show about the woman CIA agent, and the new trailer for the Julia Roberts Eat, Pray, Love movie both feature it). It is wicked catchy.

• Speaking of Eat, Pray, Love, I'm not sure how I feel about it being turned into a movie. I loved the book, but it just doesn't seem like the kind of story that could transfer to the big screen. I mean sure, they could show her traveling through Italy and India and Bali, but the real journey is an inner journey; a spiritual pilgrimage if you will. I love Julia Roberts, but I'm not sure how she can relay spiritual awakening on a movie screen. I'm afraid that they're just going to make a shell movie of the real story. Or worse, just change the story completely. I just don't trust movies based on books. They always feel like they cheapen the story for me. What do you think? Did anyone else read the book? How do you feel about the movie?

• Actually, since we're talking about Eat, Pray, Love, I'm going to go ahead and say that I liked the second book, Committed, much better. It kinda picks up where the first one left off, only instead of being a spiritual journey, it's a journey of matrimony. I highly recommend it. Elizabeth Gilbert makes me laugh and cry and snort and sigh and look at things in a whole new light.

• In other news, apparently my house hates me. First the light in my bedroom broke (well, not so much broke as the bulbs get "surface of the sun" hot and keep burning themselves out and threatening to set things on fire), and then the shower head in the guest bathroom went totally cuckoo for cocoa puffs and started spraying water everywhere, and now the front porch light is on the fritz. (I thought it was just a burned out bulb but I've come to find out that no, the whole thing is shot and the house apparently just hates me). These are all fairly easy fixes, but by ganging up on me at once, it pretty much guarantees that I'll have to spend an entire day trying to play Bob Vila.

• I've been watching episodes of The IT crowd on Netflix recently. It's a British comedy about a woman who claims to know a lot more about computers than she actually does and ends up hired as the head of an IT department. The two guys who work for her are your classic computer nerds (but with British accents!) and the whole thing devolves into crazy hi-jinks and hilarity. There's three seasons that you can watch instantly on Netflix if crazy British sitcoms are you thing.

• Speaking of British television, (or the "telly" as it were) I've decided to incorporate more English phrases into my everyday speaking. Not the accent, mind you, but just the phrases. For example, at least once a day, I will try to work in the phrase "Well, this is a bit of a sticky wicket now, isn't it?" (Why? No idea. I just like the way "sticky wicket" rolls off the tongue. Plus if nothing else, it will be a new way to make people crazy). I also like, "Oh, bother" as an alternative. It reminds me of Paddington bear.

• You know the phrase that I do say more than any other? I mean far more than any other? Like 50 times, every single day? (No, no, it's not "Unbelievable!" for those who watched the whale video, although good guess). It's "It's not time to eat yet". I say this to the cats, and I say it roughly a thousand times a day. They get dinner at 5:00 every evening, but they seem to think that if they go tearing off to their food bowls every time I shift position, they'll get fed earlier. Hence the phrase. Now, how sad is it that this is the sentence I say the most, and how much sadder is it that the majority of my daily conversation takes place with cats? If only I could work "sticky wicket" in somewhere.

Edited to add: The Seester has just texted me the following: "Watching Criminal Minds. 3 white guys aged 25-35 were just strangled in Miami over one month. Happy now?" To which I say, Yes. Yes I am.

2/11/10 Brain Scanning

Some random things that happen to be rolling around in my head at the moment:

When Tony first goes to sleep, he lays on his back with his hands folded across his chest like the way they arrange the corpse for viewings at funerals. I don't think he even realizes that he sleeps like this, but it's a little creepy to me. I call it his "Dearly Departed" pose.

Does anybody remember those marbles with the magnets inside that you could stick together in long chains and slide around on the coffee table? For reasons I will never understand, a memory of them popped into my head just now. We didn't have them in our house, but someone I knew as a child did. I can't remember who it was exactly, but I remember several instances of playing with those magnetic marbles on some random coffee table. If you whipped the train around fast enough, the last few marbles would break the magnetic field and go flying off the edge of the table. The little kid me thought this was the coolest thing ever.

The Seester and I play a game where we try to decide what animal we (or others) would be based on personality alone. I said that I thought she would be an eagle due to her professionalism and determination. She said she thought I would be one of those lizards with the brightly colored hood that pops out at random times. Looks normal enough at first glance, but then you find out there's something really bizarre about it. I looked one up. It's called a frill neck lizard, and I'm trying to decide if I should be offended or not.


I'm currently on a real navel oranges kick. I have no idea why, but all of a sudden I can't get enough of them. I've been eating one a day for the last week. (Maybe I'm lacking in vitamin C?) Anyway, I tend to do this with fruit. Before the oranges it was bananas, and before bananas it was red seedless grapes. I read an article in Shape magazine that oranges help you burn fat (or something to that effect), so I'm letting this orange thing run its course. Then it will be on to the next fruit, whatever that will be.

I'm taking dance lessons (real ones, not just as a cardio burner- although I do that class also) at the gym, and my instructor says that I tend to stick my rear end out as I dance. We're working on the samba at the moment, and apparently the longer I samba, the further I tend to jut out in the back. (I fear that longer songs will end with me bent over at almost a 90 degree angle). I'm supposed to be working on keeping my shoulders and hips aligned. (I also have a tendency to try to lead when it comes to turns, but that's another matter). It reminds me of the old rhyme, "I know my heart, I know my mind, I know that I stick up (or in this case, out) behind!"

I've been thinking about it, and I've decided that there are three things that signal that things are going well and a woman is 100% in control of her life. One is fresh flowers in the house. The second is eyebrows are freshly groomed. The third is wearing fingernail polish. For some reason, these things make me think, "Wow! She's really got it all together! I bet she can do anything!" (I think this is because they're what I consider "nice but optional" and therefore the first things to go when life stops running smoothly. The flowers go first, then the fingernail polish, then the eyebrows). On good days, I can manage two of them at once. Right now, I have flowers and eyebrows, but only for another day or so on both.

I've just came across a new book at the library. It's called Pride and prejudice and zombies : the classic Regency romance -- now with ultraviolent zombie mayhem! Here's the review from the SLJ:

Austen's England is overrun with "unmentionables." Etiquette and polite society still reign, but they do become strained when, for example, the ball at Netherfield is interrupted by an attack on the household staff. In this parody, Grahame-Smith maintains the structure and language of the original while strategically inserting zombies into the story. The surprise is how little changes. Elizabeth Bennett is still known for her beauty and intelligence. Here, she is also known for her expertise in the "deadly arts," abilities that only make her a less-desirable marriage partner. There is the constant physical peril that echoes the menace underlying the original. In addition to a life of homeless spinsterhood, the sisters fear having their brains eaten, or being bitten and turned into zombies themselves (a fate to which one character does unfortunately fall prey). The unmentionables also magnify the satirical aspects of the story. A few key arguments, such as the final confrontation between Elizabeth and Lady Catherine, become all-out brawls to the death. (Lady Catherine is famous for her fighting skills and army of ninjas.) And of course Darcy is a renowned swordsman, known for his gentlemanly ferocity. The concept alone is worth a chuckle.

I'm sure Austin is turning over in her grave at the mere thought, but the idea was so preposterous that I couldn't help but laugh. It's so ridiculous its charming. I can't wait to start it. (And honestly, I admire the author's gall...Adding zombies to the classics sounds like something I would do). I understand that there's another book where sea monsters are added to Sense and Sensibility. If this one is any good, I may try to find the other.

So that's it. A quick peek inside my head. Oranges, the Samba, magnetic marbles and zombies. (You're starting to see the whole lizard thing now, aren't you?) But now it's your turn. What's in your wallet? head?

5/19/09 Some Random Stuff on Tuesday

Just so you know up front, this isn't going to be an exciting or brilliantly witty post. There just hasn't been anything good to write about lately. As a matter of fact, I feel a bullet-point attack coming on, so you know that not only is it going to be boring, but completely unrelated to anything else.

Consider yourself warned.

• I'm having a good hair day today. It was just one of those rare days where I got up and ran a brush through it, and it just magically fell into place, all by itself. No curling, no gel, and no need for a ponytail restraining order. I have no idea what caused it to be in such a good mood, and I probably couldn't deliberately reproduce the effects if I tried, but I'll take it. Good hair days are a gift, and need to be treated as such. Of course, I had absolutely nowhere to go except for a routine doctor's visit, so no one who would be impressed would see my fab hair. Still...today's hair forecast is sunny.

• Like I said, it was my annual trip to the lady doctor today. You'd think that the chances for bloggy hilarity would be foolproof there, what with the paper gowns and a doctor shoulder deep in one's hoo-ha, but fortunately or not, it was a completely unexceptional visit. I like my lady doctor (well, as much as one can like a doctor anyway...and one holding a speculum at that), and she's pretty good about weeding through my gripes about bloating and hormonally-caused acne to see through to any real concerns that I might have (mostly that I'm a big whiny baby).

• Oh, wait! There was one other bright spot in the doctor visit. The scale in their office weighed me a whopping 10 lbs LESS than the one at the gym did last time I bothered to check. I was shocked. And thrilled, but mostly shocked. I know that the gym workouts are supposed to do that and all, but with their scales permanently hovering around the exact same number for the past year, I had pretty much accepted that that was just how much I weighed. Not that the new number is anything more than just that-a number, but it makes me feel good to know that if there was ever any reason that someone would have to carry me anywhere, I'd have 10 less pounds to fatigue them.

• I kicking around the idea of getting a jean skirt. I haven't had one since I was 12 or so, but I saw them in the store the other day, and I've been thinking about them. What are the guidelines for jean skirts? I don't want to look like I'm trying to be 14, but I don't want to look like a Jehovah's Witness either. Thoughts?

• I found my Pure 80's CD in the back of a closet on Saturday, and I've had it playing for the past few days. I forgot how much fun 80's music is. At this very moment, I'm howling along with Video Killed the Radio Star. The cats are cowering under the bed. (No musical appreciation there at all).

4/3/09 Quick Takes (vol 1)

One- Those of you who have been around for a while may remember 10 on Tuesdays. We haven't done one in a while...mainly because I tend to blather on too long about everything, and the post ended up being 45 pages long. So I had kinda let those fall by the wayside. But then I saw where Conversion Diary does a 7 Quick Takes on Friday, which is not only less than 10, but also "Quick". (And on Friday). So I thought I'd try it out.

Two- I stopped by the Knoxville Museum of Art today. It was totally on a whim. I was walking by after my exercise class at the gym and happened to notice the "Free Admission Today" sign out front. And since it's been YEARS since I made time to stop and go to an art museum, I was like, why not? So I popped in and absolutely LOVED IT! That may just become a weekly tradition on free admission days.

Three- While I was at the above-mentioned KMA, I saw the most awesome glasswork. The exhibit features artist Josh Simpson, and it Blew. Me. Away. Seriously, I almost cried. His signature stuff is what he calls his planets, but I think I loved the New Mexico glass the best. If you get a chance to see his work, by all means GO!

Four- My wonderful glass-induced high was totally destroyed upon arriving home and finding that "somehow" all of my handmade stepping stones managed to end up in the bottom of my pond. And while luckily nothing was hurt, I am greatly annoyed that a) someone does not respect other people's property, and b) it is hard enough to keep stuff out of that pond without someone deliberately throwing stuff into it, and c) I had to get my arm all wet when I reached in to pull them out. I have no proof, but I suspect that this is the work of the little brats across the street.

Five- You know what? It wouldn't be hard to set up a camera that focuses on the pond. My office window looks out over it. And I'd love to have video evidence with which to confront the pond perps. Unless of course I'm totally blowing this out of proportion and need to get a grip. I mean, I don't want them messing up my pond, but I also don't want to be the crotchety old neighbor who yells things like, "Get outta my yard you rotten kids!" I think I'll let this time go. If it happens again though, I'm pulling out the security surveillance.

Six- One of my biggest gripes about going downtown is that I can never find free parking. Well today, I found a lot that offers just that, and I am sooooo excited about it. (The small things make me so excited). Victory dance for not having to shell out a dollar an hour anymore.

Seven- The whole family is getting ready to participate in a giant garage sale on April 17 and 18th. I've been ruthlessly scouring the house, sweeping stuff into my "garage sale" box. I'm very excited about all the stuff I'm clearing out. Some of this stuff is still closed up in the boxes from when we moved here five years ago. I say if we haven't needed it since then, we don't need it now. It'll be so nice to get it out of my house. Don't you just love spring cleaning?

8/29/2008 Ten on Friday Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring

It’s Friday. I’m feeling lazy, so I’m just going to list some random stuff instead of trying to make some kind of coherent thought. Think of it as a 10 on Tuesday, only on Friday.

1. Boomsday is this weekend! For you non-Knoxvillians, Boomsday is the city’s fireworks show to celebrate Labor Day. It’s an all day thing with concerts and food vendors and bouncy castles and stuff, and then at 9:30, we do the largest Labor Day fireworks show in the Southeast. Very exciting. I cannot wait to go!

2. Do other countries have Labor Day? I’m not sure. I think maybe Canada does too, but I’m not sure about anyone else. Anyone else getting Monday off work?

3. My very exciting Labor Day plans also include pressure washing and staining the back deck, and washing and repainting the front porch. (Tony is very excited about this plan, as you can no doubt imagine). Still, it must be done, and it’ll just go faster with two of us, (as opposed to one of us doing it all while the other one sits inside and watches, say, college football).

4. Speaking of college football, my beloved Vols play on Monday! First game of the year! To be honest, I’m not a huge huge football fan. I tend to get bored around halftime. But I am a huge fan of football season with all the cheering and tailgating and chili and giant sandwiches. I guess I love football food more than football itself.

5. In between football and deck staining, Tony and I are also going to redo the guest bathroom. Remember the brown one? Well, in a fit of hormonal rage this week, I decided I couldn’t stand the brown one more minute, and I bought a can of paint primer and primed over it all. (And then I lost my motivation and took a nap on the couch). So now the walls have varying thicknesses of primer on them, and all the bathroom essentials are spread out all over the hallway floor. That will be put to rights this weekend, again with Tony’s help. (He’s such a good sweetie pie!)

6. Speaking of hormonal rages, you’ll be glad to know that I’m out of my funk. I’m in a much better mood, and I managed to make it through the week without getting myself fired. Sadly, a large amount of cookie dough was ingested as an alternative. Major gym penance will be required.

7. Speaking of a good workout, ya’ll sign up for Race for the Cure this year. They’ve extended the early bird sign-up to September 5th, so if you register before then, it’s $5 cheaper. Tony and I are all signed up, even though he’s making a fuss over it. I told him it was for a good cause. I told him that men get breast cancer too. I told him about all the free doughnuts. He’s going.

8. In kidney-related news, it appears I still have my infection, but it doesn’t hurt so much as make me think that I have to go to the bathroom ALL THE TIME. I had my follow-up appointment today, and the doctor put me on a different type of drug, which promises to finish off the infection without making me so nauseous. They also took about 2 gallons of blood today, which will be sent off to some magical place to be tested for how well my one super-kidney is doing. I have full confidence that it will pass with flying colors. I would appreciate not having to go to the bathroom every 2 minutes though. Stupid infection.

9. Tony is laughing at me because I have somehow picked up the phrase “Golly bum”, as in “Golly bum, that’s some stubborn glue!” or “Golly bum! I ate too much”. I have no idea what it means or where it came from, but I think it’s kind of the southern redneck equivalent to “By George” or “Gee whiz”. (Come to think of it, I don’t really know what those two mean either). I didn’t even realize I was saying it until Tony made fun of me pointed it out.

10. Ya’ll enjoy your long weekend. I know I will. And you guys down there in the path of Gustav and Hanna take care of yourselves. Don’t get washed away with the storms. You can send a little of the rain my way, but wait until after Labor Day so my deck stain can dry. I’m just sayin’. Peace out Internets!

7/29/08 10 on Tuesday

You know what? We haven't done a 10 on Tuesday in a while. Whaddya say, just for old time's sake? (The old time that I would be referring to just so happens to be three weeks ago, so ancient history).

One- So, Tony and I went to see the new Batman movie last weekend and....I don't like it. I know, I know, it's a box office hit. Everyone is raving about it. I just didn't like it. I thought it was dark and gory and overly dramatic and boring. C'mon people! It's the same story line as all the other Batman movies! Batman does his whole "dark crusader" thing while chasing the Joker around the city with his fancy toys. He stands in the shadows and spouts overly dramatic whispered drivel such as "I'm not the hero you deserve, I'm the hero you have now". Puh-leeeeze. Get over your tortured self Batman. And how many packs did he have to smoke to make his voice all raspy like that? It hurt my vocal chords just listening to it. I spent most of the movie playing stray popcorn kernel soccer with myself while I waited for it to be over. I'm so disappointed in you Christian Bale.

Two- Oh good news! One a completely different note, it turns out that the kittens can swim! Well, Sebastian can anyway. I had the cover off of the hot tub this weekend while I was doing the cleaning cycle, and Sebastian just jumped right up and over the side, into the water. He was treading water when I ran over to fish him out, but boy was he surprised! The biggest thing on him was his eyes, and you could tell he was thinking, "What the...!" Oh, and it turns out that he's all kitten fluff, because he was the size of a shaved hamster when I got him out. Don't worry, other than the loss of his kitten dignity, he was fine.

Three- Are you tired of hearing about softball yet? Tough. I spent Sunday practicing with Mom and Dad and Tony in a field next to their house. In addition to playing softball, Mom and Dad were both actually gym teachers for a while, so they know the whole mechanics of catching and throwing and batting. (Plus Mom took one look at my glove and declared it beyond saving...I'm using her glove now). And it turns out that after someone takes the time to actually SHOW you how to catch and hit and throw, it isn't really that terrible. (Okay, so I'm still bad at the throwing. I keep forgetting to turn and step and lead with my elbow and hold the ball loosely and release at the top of the arc and aim for the person I'm throwing at's chest and keep my thumb from turning. But the catching and batting showed vast improvement). We'll see how tomorrow's practice goes before I put myself out there as a free agent though.

Four- I had a dream last night that my good buddy Nicole was dating Jim from The Office. Only he was about 8' tall, and she was really short. And Nicole was also concerned because he had a large tattoo (I'm not sure where) and she didn't think her parents would like that. Nicole, if you're reading, forget about the tattoo! It's Jim! Get him before he remembers about Pam!

Five- Speaking of TV crushes, I've totally developed a thing for Geof Manthorne from Ace of Cakes. I started out DVRing all the episodes because I thought the cakes were neat, but I find myself especially interested in the ones that Geof does. And I'm not sure what the attraction is, because he's scruffy and gangly and his nose is just a little too big for his face. But I'm totally crushing on him anyway. (Geof, if you're reading this, I totally didn't mean what I said about your nose. Call me!) I think the lure is that he's one of those quiet laid-back types. Still waters and all that. I just love me those quiet laid-back types.

Totally ripped-off picture of Geof.

Six- Does anybody know about the snack/dessert food called Muddy Buddies? It's rice chex coated with peanut butter and chocolate and rolled in powdered sugar. We always called it Muddy Buddies growing up, but Tony knew it as Puppy Chow. I made some on Friday for a co-worker's baby shower, and nobody knew what it was. Everyone was scared of it until I started eating it myself. No one knows it as Puppy Chow or Muddy Buddies either. I know they used to put the recipe on the back of the chex boxes, but I guess everyone was busy making traditional chex mix instead. If you remember it, what do you call it?

Seven- Speaking of the above, here's the recipe. I love it because I can mix it all up in a one gallon ziplock, and then you don't have to get your hands messy.

9 cups Rice Chex
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar

In microwavable bowl, stir together chocolate chips, peanut butter and butter. Microwave uncovered on High 1 minute; stir. Microwave about 30 seconds longer or until mixture can be stirred smooth. Eat the leftover chocolate chips right out of the bag. Stir in vanilla (to your mixture, not the leftover chocolate). Put cereal in gallon Ziplock bag. Pour chocolate mixture over cereal, shaking until evenly coated. I find the "hands on either side of the bag while executing a gentle rolling motion" to be the best. Add powdered sugar. Seal bag; shake, rattle, and roll until well coated. Transfer to clean bowl and enjoy all those cereal coating calories.

Eight- Speaking of calories, I was at the gym yesterday, just doin' my thang on the elliptical machine while reading a book, and I did the entire 50 minute workout WITHOUT REALIZING IT! I was elliptical-ing away and all of a sudden I looked down and it was giving me the end of workout summary! I know! I'm very excited. Normally I'm checking the time every 5 seconds because I'm dying and when can I get off this machine of torture? But yesterday I was in the elliptical zone! I wasn't winded! I wasn't having a heart attack! I wasn't gasping and turning purple and losing feeling from the waist down, which is what I'm usually doing. I'm not sure what made the difference, but I seemed to have developed instant crazy endurance. Woot!

Nine- I just double-checked my recipe on http://www.chex.com/, and they officially call it Muddy Buddies! Ha! I was right! Of course, there's a note underneath it that it is also known as puppy food, but I'm going to go with Muddy Buddies since it's all copywrited (copywritten?) and everything.

Ten- It also occurs to me that Geof would probably never go for someone who considers making Muddy Buddies in a ziplock baggie "cooking". (Well, that and whole I'm already married thing). Sigh. I'm sorry Geof. I'm afraid it never would have worked out for us. We'll always have the Food Network though.

So that's my ten. I've mentioned Geoffrey Manthorne enough by now that he'll probably get a restraining order against me. I'll console myself by stuffing myself with cereal-based dessert mix, which I'll then work off with my super elliptical endurance powers. All of this will be documented in my comic hero movie, where I'll save a kitten from a hot tub and stand in the dark, reciting rasping monologues in my smoker's voice. It'll be a hit, and Nicole can meet the real Jim at the after party.

Geof can come too.

7/8/08 10 on Tuesday: Kitten Edition

Things still aren't that interesting around here, but I promised that I'd post, so today we're doing 10 on Tuesday: Kitten Edition. I haven't mentioned the kittens all that much because I'm worried that if I start all of my sentences with "The kittens did this...", then people will think that I'm becoming a crazy cat woman. (Hey! I have 4 cats! I AM a crazy cat woman!) Still, just in case any of the rest of you are crazy cat women too, here's 10 things about the new kittens.

One- The shelter told us that they were litter trained when we got them, and for the most part, they do a good job. There have been just a few accidents. Like the first dull day that they were home, and one forgot how to get from the kitchen back down the stairs to the litter box. He tried though. And you know the closest thing in the kitchen that looks like a litter box? That's right- the air vent in the floor. (I couldn't figure out why the kitchen smelled like poo when the AC kicked on). Do you have any idea how hard it is to get kitten poo out of an air duct? Tony does. Luckily, he was able to get all of it, and then I sprinkled enough Arm and Hammer baking soda into the duct to permeate the entire house. There was also a reminder lesson on how to get back to the litter box from the kitchen.

Two- The other "Oops!" happened in Tony's hockey bag. The kittens like to sleep on top of the bag downstairs, so I'm not sure why someone thought it was a good idea to pee in it. (Probably trying to cover up sweaty hockey gear smell). Tony had to wash all of his gear, and the bag. I guess the kittens aren't hockey fans. On the positive side, Tony's gear was due for a good scrubbing anyway. A second litter box was added downstairs as a more enticing alternative. What can you do? They're just babies. Hopefully that will be the extent of the "oopses" though.

Three- So far, the big boys are doing a wonderful job with the little boys. Mason still hisses at them when they get within a foot of him, but Dixon isn't hissing at all anymore. Last night, all four boys were on the couch and chaise at the same time. (Well, Mason was pretending that he didn't see the others, but no one else was bothered). We've come a long way from even refusing to be in the same part of the house with the new interlopers. The kittens aren't bothered at all by Mason's hissing, and just continue right on doing whatever it was that got them too close to him in the first place.

Four- In case you were wondering, we put the new kittens downstairs in my spa room. They have their food, cat bed, and two litter boxes down there. We put them down there at night, and when we aren't home. We let them out when Tony's home for lunch and in the evenings. The idea is that the spa room is their turf, and the living room/kitchen is neutral ground. Our bedroom is the big boys' turf. This way, they can mingle if they want, or they can have their own space.

Five- Originally, we didn't want the kittens going upstairs at all, so we bought a 2'x4' plastic fluorescent light cover to put in front of the stairs. (It was cheap and sturdy without being able to be climbed...those little buggers climb everything!) We set it up in front of the stairs and patted ourselves on the back for about 5 minutes...which was how long it took for the kittens to realize that they have a vertical leap that can clear a 2' barrier. Nothing makes a kitten want to do something more than being told that they can't. We spent a good half an hour trying to keep them from going "over the wall" as it were, but then we just gave up. The big boys were up on our bed, and the kittens haven't figured out how to get up there yet. So Mason and Dixon still have their turf...it's just shrunk a little.

Six- The other place that was a Mason/Dixon only spot was out on the screened-in porch. Dixon could really care less about being out there, but Mason loves it. We have a cat door that leads from the kitchen to the porch, and the kittens don't know how to use it. Scratch that. The kittens DIDN'T know how to use it. Mason and I were out there potting new petunias (4" pots for $1 at Home Depot!) when Pop! Out came a kitten. Then Pop! Another kitten rolled through the cat door. After that, they were back and forth, back and forth all day. Magellan still thinks that he has to scratch at the door before going back inside, but then he just pushes his way through. I thought Mason would be upset, but he seems to be under the impression that if he ignores them, maybe they'll go away.

Seven- We absolutely have to find some kitten-sized Soft Paws! These are the little caps that you glue onto needle-point kitten claws to keep yourself and your furniture from being ripped to shreds. Tony and I have been trying to get some for the past week without success. Wal-Mart doesn't have them. Kroger doesn't have them. Pet Care Warehouse didn't even know what they were. Pet Supplies Plus had them, but they were out of kitten-sized! My kingdom for some Soft Paws!

Eight- Speaking of our pitiful lack of Soft Paws, Tony and I are covered in puncture wounds. It's not like the kittens mean it, but every time they try to jump up into our laps, or try to walk on our legs, or get excited during play time, the claws come out. Little razor sharp claws. I look like I've been in a fight with a food processor. Ironically, the song Cat Scratch Fever came on the radio as I was driving into work this morning. Fitting. What are those symptoms again?

Nine- I have to take the kittens back for their three month worm shots in a few weeks. We do vet trips in shifts, with older boys going one day, and little boys going the next. Otherwise, I'd have to get a moving dolly to wheel in all the cat carriers, and I'm not sure that would go over well.

Ten- Do you know what kittens love to eat more than anything? Cat Chow. You know what they can't have? Cat Chow. They want Mason and Dixon's food so much, they can hardly stand it. I tried telling them that they'll be able to switch over in another 8 months, but they don't listen. Meanwhile, do you know what Mason and Dixon love more than anything? Kitten Chow. You know what they can't have? Kitten Chow. I told them that eating kitten chow will make them fat, and that according to the kittens, the cat chow is much tastier, but they don't listen. It's like a Three Stooges episode, trying to keep kittens out of the cat food and cats out of the kitten food. They're all crazy fast too.

So that's what the kittens are doing. Eating the wrong food, peeing in hockey bags, jumping over barriers, puncturing me with kitty claws. But being so cute that they're worth every second. What's a cat mom to do?

5/27/08 Vacation Slideshow

I know you all can't wait to hear about my faaaaabulous vacation. It was, in a word, fabulous (or since we visited Mexico, Fabulouso!). I thought about describing each activity of the vacation in excruciating detail as you watched the slideshow, but that seemed a little cruel, even for me. So instead I narrowed it down to just the highlights (plus the slideshow) with a little thing that I like to call "10 on Tuesday- Vacation edition".

One- This year we cruised for five days on the Carnival fun ship, the Holiday. People always ask me if the atmosphere on a Carnival ship is wild and crazy. I think somewhere along the way, Carnival got pegged as the floating frat party ship, but this is our second Carnival cruise, and I've not really seen that on either trip. Of course, our ship, the Holiday, is also the smallest ship in the fleet so there were a lot less people on board, thus less frat boys in general. We also cruised out of Mobile AL, so I think the number of hospitable southerners plus the lack of lines and crowds that you may find on larger ships, really made sailing quite enjoyable.

Two- I'd be lying if I said that one of the main reasons we picked a cruise wasn't the fabulous food. I LOVE cruise food! I love the fancy dining room food, I love the casual bistro buffet food, I love the 24 hour pizza and ice cream bar. (And unfortunately, judging by the fit of my clothes, all that food loves me too. I'm going to have to do some serious gym penance now that I'm back). Tony and I decided that we'd do the casual bistro buffet for breakfast and lunch and then the fancy 4 course dinner meal in the main dining hall. The first night I started with Beef and Barley Soup With Diced Root Vegetables, Filet Mignon with California Cabernet Sauce and Gorgonzola Butter, and finished with Decadence of Chocolate for dessert. The second night I had Mississippi Delta Prawns, Broiled Lobster Tail with Melted Butter and Banana Gateau for dessert. The third I had French Onion Soup, New York Sirloin Steak with Three Peppercorn Sauce, and Old Fashioned Apple Pie; the fourth was Tenderloin of Beef Wellington, and the fifth was Chateaubriand with Sauce Béarnaise. Are you hungry just thinking about it? You should be. It was food heaven! And the desserts! (Sigh). It's a good thing that I don't live on one of those ships...I'd be 400lbs in no time.

Three- We did try to work off some of that food by doing one of the ship's numerous activities-cha cha lessons! (I figured it would tie in well with all the Latin Dancing I had been doing). Tony was surprisingly good at the cha cha...so much so that I may look into trying to find some ballroom dancing classes for us back here on the mainland. (He was less than thrilled when I suggested that...that may be why he'd been holding out on me about his mad dancing skills previous to now. I'm on to him though). The boy can cha cha!

Four- We did the three reef snorkeling tour for our shore excursion in Cozumel. The guide took us out in what he referred to as the Mexican Titanic, and we visited three different reef spots. I actually think that there are nicer reefs in Jamaica and Hawaii, but the fish here were absolutely everywhere, and not at all afraid to swim right up next to you. We saw blue fish and yellow fish and striped fish and spotted fish (see the slideshow below). We saw an eel, a stingray, and a really big barracuda (Go on, sing it: "Ooooooh Bara-cuda!"). The guide also reported that there was a small shark down in one of the reef's crevices, but I couldn't get down to see it. Apparently I float like a cork, so try as I might, all the diving in the world could only get me down about six feet down before I rocketed back up towards the surface. At one point, I dove down and was fighting to stay below the surface, only to realize that my legs had actually surfaced already and my bottom half was out of the water completely, still kicking like crazy. I'm sure that was a lovely image for the other boaters.

Five- The only downside to the snorkeling was the occasional jellyfish. Growing up in Savannah, I am familiar with jellyfish. You swim, you get stung, you rub sand on it (peeing not necessary), and you go on with your life. These particular jellyfish were small- only about the size of half dollar coins, but they still packed a punch. It was like being stung by an underwater bee that 9 times out of 10, you never saw coming. I have welts on my knee, calf, wrist, and arm. Apparently jellyfish really like me too, because hardly anyone else in our snorkel party was stung. Lucky me. A week later, and I still have red spots where they got me. Despite the jellyfish, I highly recommend the snorkeling.

Six- I'm just throwing this one in as a quick shout out to the towel animals. Every night when the steward came in to turn down our covers and leave chocolate mints, he'd also assemble a towel animal. See the slideshow below for the rabbit and elephant. They do classes and sell books on the art of towel animals as one of the ship's activities, but I missed it because I got caught up in a book by the pool. My houseguests will have to suffer without towel animals for the at least the next year.

Seven- The weather was absolutely wonderful with the exception of some rough seas that actually kept us from docking at our second port of call, Calica/Playa del Carmen. We were supposed to dock at 7am on Thursday morning, but the port authority said that it was too rough to be safe, so they sent us back to Cozumel for a second day. We had planned to do a jungle ATV ride in Calica, but we were able to switch over to horseback riding through Mayan ruins, so it worked out well.

Eight- Speaking of horseback riding, it had been a little while since I had been on a horse. I took riding lessons when I was a kid, but that was probably 12 or 13 years ago, so I'm not sure how much of it stuck. No matter. The guide gave us a quick lesson in "kiss and kick", where you make the horse go by making kissing sounds and kicking him in the side. My horse and I got off to a bit of a rocky start when he decided that he would like to eat the leaves off of a low hanging tree instead of listening to my kissing and kicking instructions. See the picture of me on the horse in the tree? I'm actually in the tree...I had to lay down on the horse to get under some of the branches that he was so delightfully nibbling. Once we were on the trail though, we could gallop if we so chose. Apparently my horse only came in two gears- dead run or full stop. There was no in between. Needless to say, we did a lot of galloping. I passed most of the Mayan ruins at about 200mph. I dare say we have now qualified for Belmont.

Guide: Here we have the intricate carvings that signified the sacrificial alter of-
My horse: Whoosh!
Me: AAIEEEeeeeeee!
My horse: Heeheehee!

I'm proud to say that I managed to stay in the saddle despite the Mexican Mr. Ed's shenanigans. I'm paying for it now with my inner thigh muscles, but I stayed on. I guess all of those riding lessons when I was 13 paid off after all.

Nine- Speaking of the Mayans, did you know that the ancient Mayans used to play a game that was a lot like basketball, only the hoop was sideways instead of parallel to the floor? Each team had seven players and a captain, and the idea was to get the little leather ball through the hoop. Oh, and after the game, they'd decapitate the winning captain. Yes, the winning captain. It was such an honor to win, they would kill you once you did it. I guess chopping off your head idolizes you if you're an ancient Mayan. It brings a whole new meaning to "keeping your head in the game" doesn't it? Bah-dum-dum!

Ten- Here's the craziest thing about the trip- I still feel the boat moving even through I've been back for a few days now. I guess I got used to the boat rocking under my feet, because it's still doing it even though I have both feet planted back on Terra Firma. It's like a little piece of me is still on vacation. (Unfortunately, the rest of me is getting seasick at work).

So that's it! Enjoy the slideshow. It's my first one, so I hope it works. I was annoyed with it because some of the pictures weren't showing up earlier, but it looks like it is behaving itself now.

Make a Free Flash Slideshow

5/6/08 6 On The 6th (Better Known As 10 on Tuesday)

I know we normally do 10 on Tuesday, but I'm a bit swamped today, so we'll have to limit it to 6. Maybe call it 6 on the 6th or something. That works, right?

One- So the grades have come back for my thesis dissertation, and I have an A! (Okay, technically an A-, but let's not get caught up in all the pluses and minuses...an A is an A!) Woot! Throw your hands in the air! And wave 'em like you just don't care! This calls for a celebration! Preferably in the form of brownies! Or more Rice Crispy Treats, because I made short work of the ones from the wedding party.

Two- Speaking of marshmallowy goodness...the raccoon wins. We give up. We have been outsmarted by an oversized rodent. The traps have been on the roof for more than a week, and the raccoon just isn't biting. So we're taking the traps down, sealing up the spots where he is getting in, and just keeping our fingers crossed that coming home to find the locks changed will be enough incentive to move on as opposed to say, ripping a new opening into the roof. More fingers are crossed that he won't be in the attic when Trapper Joe comes to seal it up. (He's very good at hiding, our genius raccoon). I guess we'll know soon enough if we hear lots of banging and crashing noises overhead after the holes are closed up.

Three- In other fun homeowner news, there's a mystery smell in the living room. I swear it's mildew, like the carpet got wet (which it did when I scrubbed it trying to get out the mystery smell), but I have no idea why it would still be lingering. Tony thought it originated when the cat knocked over a glass of milk and he put the SpotBot on it (if you don't have one of these- get one! They are lifesavers!) but that should have stopped the smell, and since then, it's only gotten stronger. It's in one corner of the living room, and nothing looks or feels wet (with the exception of when we try to clean it) so I'm at a loss as to what it might be. It's bad though. Next step is calling up Stanley Steamer or something to see if they can get it out. If that doesn't work, we may be replacing carpet soon. (Not really an expense I've factored in for just now). Ah the joys of being a homeowner. If it's not a raccoon on the roof, it's a mystery smell. (And no, I don't see how the raccoon could be causing the smell...we went up and sniffed the attic just to be sure).

Four- My hot tub is on backorder. They were going to ship one from the distribution center, but I guess this particular model is a popular one, because they're out and are now having to build mine. (At least I know that it's made just for me!) They're supposed to call me at the end of this week to tell me when it will ship. Normally I'd be mad at the delay, but I still have to get an electrician out there to run my 240v line, so it won't do me any good to have it now anyway. Maybe the electrician, the wildlife trappers, and the carpet cleaners can all just get together and have a house fixing party at one time.

Five- I had my annual checkup with my lady doctor yesterday. You'll be glad to know that I haven't lost any parts, and they all still seem to be in working order. I know some people have men "lady doctors", and I'm sure they work out just fine for you, but I'm not one of those people. I've gotta have a woman doctor. I guess it's kind of like having a mechanic. He may know the manual inside and out, but unless he's actually owned a car at some point, he's not touching mine. And call me picky, but if you're planning on diving in up to your elbow in someone else's hoo-ha, you best be able to at least commiserate.

Six- Speaking of the lady doctor, is it just me, or does everyone else hide their underwear at the bottom of the clothes pile when they're changing into that paper gown? Can't have the doctor seeing my underwear. Oh no...she may be poking around at all kinds of personal places down there, but to see my underwear? THAT would just be embarrassing!

Update: Living room smell has been resolved. My super wonderful hubby got down on his hands and knees and scrubbed the entire area again until the smell went away. (We think the milk spilled further than we thought, so he cleaned a HUGE area, just to be sure). And now the smell is no more! Isn't he just super wonderful?

4/29/08 10 Again

Is it only Tuesday? Since I've been living in thesis-land, I seem to have lost all sense of time. Since the calendar says it's Tuesday, and I have lots to share, let's do this.

One- Soooo, I'm sure everyone wants to know how the super scary thesis dissertation went, yes? Well...I knocked that sucker out of the park! It was a presentation home run! I didn't even throw up or anything. Once I started talking, I was in the zone! The panel of professors were nodding as I went through it, and that's always a good sign. And no scary questions during the sudden death elimination round! Luckily, everything they asked I had already thought of, so I was ready for them. Woot! Thanks for all of your prayers and well wishes. I am soooo glad it's over!

Two- I was so pyched about the presentation that I stopped in the local pool and spa place and bought myself a hot tub. (Technically, it's my graduation present from Mom and Dad, but they told me to go ahead and buy the one I liked, so I did). It's a nice little 3-4 person number with 15 jets and a lounger and electronic everything controls. I've been looking at ones similar to this one for a couple of months now, and this one was the first one to go on sale, so that's the one I bought. They have to ship mine in from the distribution center before they can deliver it, so we're looking at one to two weeks before I'm soaking, but that's okay. I've got a whole lot going on this week anyway.

Three- What's this week, you ask? Well, one of Tony's sisters is getting married this weekend, and I'm a bridesmaid, so I've got a whole lot of bridesmaidsy stuff going on. Plus, we have some of Tony's family staying with us for the wedding (note to self: must seriously clean house that has been completely ignored during thesis time), and it's crunch time at work. No rest for the weary, right? That's okay. I can take on anything now that the thesis is over.

Four- Speaking of the wedding, and seeing lots of people, and having pictures taken that will last all of eternity, I have apparently developed a big fat post-thesis zit right under my nose. And let me tell you, it's a beaut! The Mount Vesuvius of big red throbbing bumps. I'm medicating like crazy, and so far I've resisted picking at it, but I can tell that this sucker is settling in for the long haul. Nothing like ruining your sister-in-laws wedding photos, huh? I can just hear future generations of children asking, "Why does Great great great aunt Quirky have a second nose in this picture?" Because she's a freak, kids, she's a freak.

Five- Speaking of eyesores that will no doubt impress, we're having a wedding party here at the house on Thursday, and what's littered all over my roof? Raccoon traps. Oh yes. Because nothing says fancy party like critter traps all over your house. "Oh that? Well, we've been infested with giant vermin, and we're trying to catch them with this clever little box with a marshmallow inside". (Side note: Apparently raccoons like marshmallows? Who knew?) Maybe I can pass it off as a modern art sculpture.

Six- There's a little bird that comes to sing outside of my bedroom window every morning. He has a little song that goes "bir-die, bir-die, bir-die birdiebirdiebirdiebirdie! bir-die, bir-die bir-die..." Tony and I have taken to calling him Birdie because of it. I like him. He's a happy sort.

Seven- I took a half of a vacation day in order to get some of the house back into shape before all of our guest come, but so far I've just spent the time blogging. I'm sure my guests will appreciate that when it comes time for them to sleep on dirty sheets.

Eight- Oh my gosh! I can hear the raccoon moving around overhead RIGHT NOW! EAT THE FREAKING MARSHMALLOW YOU STUPID RACCOON!

Nine- You know what? All that talk of marshmallows has put me in the mood for some Rice Krispy Treats. I think I'll whip some up for the ol' bachelorette party on Thursday. If it's good enough for the raccoon, it's good enough for bachelorette party guests, right?

Rice Krispy Goodness

Ingredients
3 tablespoons margarine or butter
1 (10 oz.) package regular marshmallows - or - 4 cups mini marshmallows
6 cups Rice Krispies®

Directions
1. Melt margarine in large saucepan over low heat. Add marshmallows and stir until completely melted. Remove from heat.

2. Add KELLOGG'S RICE KRISPIES cereal. Stir until well coated.

3. Using buttered spatula or waxed paper, press mixture evenly into 13 x 9 x 2-inch pan coated with cooking spray. Cut into 2-inch squares when cool. Best if served the same day.

MICROWAVE DIRECTIONS:In a large microwave safe bowl, heat margarine and marshmallows at HIGH for 3 minutes, stirring after 2 minutes. Stir until smooth. Follow steps 2 and 3 above.

Ten- Okay, so according to the comments below, no one save one dog can lick their own elbow. Tsk tsk. If you're going to run with the Quirky, you gots to develop your quirk skills, yo! Sounds like some more elbow-licking practice is in order. Only then can you reach your full quirky potential (and slobbery elbows).

Okay cyberbuddies, I'm off to clean my dirty neglected house and run to the store for some Krispies. Peace out Interpeeps!

4/15/08 10 on Tuesday

One- For those of you who read yesterday's post and are curious, yes, we still have our uninvited attic squatter. After the initial shock of finding him up there wore off, Tony's adrenalin kicked in and he was all ready to go back up and do battle with the raccoon. (I'm not sure what he was thinking, but I know his plan somehow involved a broom and a cat carrier). Never mind that this is a wild animal that has razor sharp teeth and claws and possibly rabies, and that raccoons in general are just mean little suckers. Tony was all set to defend his castle. Luckily, cooler heads (mine) prevailed, and the professional wildlife removal services are coming over this afternoon to set a trap. Meanwhile, judging from the all the thumps and bumps and scrapes going on overhead, the raccoon continues to entertain himself by rearranging heavy furniture. How lucky for us that we got invaded by the Martha Stewart of raccoons.

Two- Speaking of raccoons, did you know that this is also the time of year when baby raccoons are traditionally born? Oh yes. Mommy raccoons find a nice warm spot out of the weather, make a nest in someone's attic insulation, and have lots of baby raccoons. Any day now. Let that thought sink in for a moment. And keep your fingers crossed that we have a boy raccoon.

Three- I'm sure you are all literary geniuses (why else would you be reading this?) so you recognized my veiled reference to Victorian novelist Edward Bulwer-Lytton from yesterday's post. But just in case the finer points of your English lit class have faded away into the ether, Edward Bulwer-Lytton wrote Paul Clifford, which begins with the famous sentence, "It was a dark and stormy night...". Actually, the full sentence is:

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

Bulwer-Lytton is known for his overly descriptive run-on sentences; so much so that they even have a contest each year "to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels"...which basically means overly cheesy. I'm only bringing this up so that newcomers to Quirky don't think that I write in horrible run-on sentences with ridiculous descriptions on a day to day basis. (Only every other day).

Four- On another note, I've decided to break down and try some of that gradual tanning lotion stuff. You know, where you put the lotion on and you gradually get darker over the period of about a week? Today is day one. I keep checking in the mirror to see if I can see a difference yet. (No). Anyway, I was hesitant to try it out even though the commercials swear that it won't turn you orange and you won't be streaky. I usually rely on good old-fashioned tanning practices (aka yard work), but I haven't really had a chance to get outside for long yet, and these fluorescent lights that I spend the majority of my day under just aren't cutting it. I'm in a bind though because I just ran out of winter-colored foundation and I really don't want to buy a whole new bottle because I'll be switching over to my summer-colored foundation at any moment now. What's a girl to do? I'm too pale for my foundation and I sit inside all day. Answer: tan in a can! Has anybody else tried this Jergens tan stuff? Did it work? Were you streaky? Do you like it, or have you reverted back to soaking up cancer-causing rays the old fashioned way?

Five- Remember how excited I was about hitting 1000 visitors last month? Well, this month I did the Fashion Fiesta from BigMama, and I hit 1000 people IN ONE DAY. Which tells me that BigMama has some serious traffic over at her site, and I'm still just a little fish in a big bloggy ocean. But that's okay, because I don't write for international acclaim (although it would be nice!). I write because it gives me an outlet to say all the crazy things that I'm thinking in my head but aren't appropriate to say in person.

Six- Antique Mommy will be guest posting this week! I'm not going to tell you on what day because I want you to keep checking back, but I will tell you that it'll be this week! Can you stand the suspense? Me neither!

Seven- On the above, should that be "Me neither!" or "Me either"? I can't remember what the rule is for that one. I remember that neither goes with nor, and either goes with or, but not which one goes with me. Anyone know what it should be? Anyone? Literary Geniuses from earlier? Speak up.

Eight- While you're kicking around the grammar question above, let me tell you about the fabulous kettle corn recipe I found! See, the Dogwood Arts Festival was in K-town last weekend, and I wait all year for it because I. LOVE. KETTLE CORN! Every year the vendor pulls up with his giant kettle and his giant wooden paddle, and makes superb kettle corn! And I wait with unbridled anticipation until he has a nice batch going, and then I run out there and buy the biggest bag he offers. ($5 for a bag about 2' long). It is kettle corn heaven! It's the only time a year I get it, because it's the best. And don't even talk to me about that microwavable kettle corn that you find in grocery stores, because that's like comparing a filet mignon to Kibbles-n-Bits. But after the kettle corn guy packed up and left, and I finished wolfing down my two foot bag of the sugary popcorn sweetness all by myself, I realized that there must be some way of getting half decent kettle corn the other 364 days of the year. So without further ado, I bring you...

Nine- A recipe for Kettle Corn! It's easy, requires few ingredients, and as long as you don't burn the popcorn like I did, actually tastes a little like actual kettle corn.

1 tbsp peanut oil
popcorn kernels
salt
1/6 cup sugar

Directions:
Use a decent size pot (with a lid) and turn on the heat to high. Pour in peanut oil. Dump in enough popcorn to make a single layer on the bottom of the pot. Roll the popcorn around so it gets covered with the peanut oil. Add a little bit of salt to taste and cover the pot. When you hear the popcorn start to pop, quickly pour in the sugar. Cover and shake continuously back and forth to coat the popcorn (like Jiffy Pop). Remove the pot from heat when the popping slows and you don't hear many kernels shaking around in the pot. Be sure to get the popped popcorn out of the pot as quickly as possible to prevent scorching from the residual heat in the pot.

I made two batches Sunday night, and I must say that it's not too bad. Next time I make it however, I'm going to tweak it to 1/3 cup sugar because I didn't think it was sweet enough. I'm also going to switch out the peanut oil for corn oil since I think it gives the popcorn a bit of a peanut-y taste instead of a salty/sweet taste. Other than that, it's pretty tasty.

Ten- If you don't feel like making your own kettle corn, or you're just in the mood for a good old fashioned Italian street festival, may I remind all you Knoxvillians that the Rossini Festival is coming this weekend! It runs from noon to 9pm on Saturday on Gay Street and Market Square. To quote the Knoxville Tourism webpage, "The Rossini Festival Italian Street Fair is a free event featuring 4 stages of entertainment, an Artisan’s Market offering handmade and designer goods for sale, food vendors specializing in Italian and Mediterranean recipes, activities and games for children, street parades by living history re-enactors, a Rossini raffle prize drawing featuring a trip to Napa wine country and Kroger Stores gift cards, performances by the Knoxville Opera cast of Puccini’s Tosca, and fully staged and costumed presentations of Verdi’s classic opera, La Traviata in the Bijou Theatre, presented by the UT Opera Theatre". It's sure to be a good time!

Kettle corn is an Italian dish, right?

4/1/08 10 *Blogs* on Tuesday

One of my favorite blogs, Big Mama, has changed her address, and for about two weeks now, I've been meaning to go in and correct the address to her new blogsite. (Can we say procrastination anyone?) Then, as I was digging through all the messy HTML here on the sidebar, I realized that I added all these great new blogs to my bloglines after the Ultimate Blog Party but I never told anybody who they were. Very selfish of me, I know. So today's 10 on Tuesday is going to be a bit of a change. Instead of 10 of my random thoughts, I'm giving you 10 of my favorite blogline blogs so that you can read about their random thoughts. So as usual, here they are in no particular order:

Queen of Dirty Laundry

Fully Alive...Ready to Smile

Confessions of an Apron Queen

Adventures of the Reluctant Housewife

Monkey Barrel Musings

Skimbaco the Lifestyle

Fashion Paramedic

Bleeding Espresso

An Island Life

Muckboots N Aprons

I'll warn ya, they're a pretty diverse lot. We have blogs from Finland and Canada and Italy and Costa Rica and Hawaii. We have urban blogs and countryside blogs. We have Mommy blogs and non-mommy blogs. They are funny, serious, happy, sad, silly, wise, and wonderful. Each one brings something a little different to the table, and I would even go as far as to say that they all might just be a little quirky.



*Of course, this is just the tip of the bloggy iceberg, but I could only pick these because its 10 on Tuesday, not 546 on Tuesday. If you aren't on the list, don't worry, I didn't forget about you. I'm just selfishly keeping you all to myself for a little longer.

3/26/08 You Thought You Missed 10 On Tuesday, Didn't You?

I know it's Wednesday. I just thought I'd mix things up a little bit...keep you on your toes. Actually, I just got busy with something else and forgot to post yesterday. Mea Culpa. But better late than never right?

one- My in-laws are coming in this weekend! Actually, that's not a bad thing. I like my in-laws. I just have a lot to do before they get here. I'm kind of in the middle of about 6 projects, so practically every room of the house has half constructed, half painted, half completed parts scattered all over the place. I'd like to get those projects finished before they arrive on Friday, but I'm not sure it's going to happen. There just aren't enough hours in the day.

two- The house may be in disarray, but the garden is in its prime. I did a bulb check yesterday, and I'm pretty sure that all the tulips and the remaining 40 or so daffodils are on schedule to burst open with color right about the time that Tony's parents show. This is really the best time of the year for my flower beds, if I do say so myself. The grape hyacinths, scilla, crocus, and daffodils have been blooming strong all month, and in the last week the regular hyacinths have bloomed too. The moss flox is starting to flower right now, and the tulips should be opening by the end of the week. I'm very excited. Go flowers go!

three- Oh ya'll, I feel gross. Yesterday I ate everything I could get my hands on. I don't know what came over me! It was like I was possessed! Someone brought in chex mix with Cheese nips (soooo yummy!) and I ate that. Another person had a HUGE pile of Easter candy, so I ate that too. Then I got home and had a huge slice of Easter cake, a bag of beef jerky, a can of black eyed peas for dinner, a few handfuls of croutons, and more chex mix (sans Cheese Nips since I didn't have any). I was an eating machine! And no, before you even think it, I'm not pregnant. (Although it is that time of the hormonally unstable month, so maybe that explains it). Either that, or I have a tape worm. After the cramps, bloating, and sudden bouts of weeping though, I think I'd really prefer the worm.

four- A couple of people have asked about the Snore-No-More, and if it provided any snoring relief after I held it under Tony's nose while he slept. The answer is somewhat. I do think that it reduced the amount and intensity of the snoring, although it didn't completely eradicate it. Mom and Dad have had much more success with it that we have though, so I think it varies depending on the kind of snorer you are. I definitely recommend if you're looking for something to try. It can't hurt, and like I said, it did help us a little. Plus, I think it also helped with my sinuses at night. I didn't feel as congested and stuffy as I normally do. And the 100ml (supposed to be a year supply) was only $20, so it won't break the bank to try it out. The lid has a website (www.arraby's.com) and a phone number (1-877-743-3744) if you want to give them a shout.

five- So apparently my brilliantly brilliant Easter basket cake idea was already done in last year's Parenting magazine. Hrmph. Of course, I don't read Parenting magazine, so I'm still claiming it as a personal creative victory.

six- Speaking of cake, the hormones-masquerading-as-tape-worm are clamoring for something else to eat. Shut up hormones!

seven- I got an email not too long ago from the BlogHer ads people (look to your right, see that ad there? That's them)- and it told me that they were doing a ton of new ads in the near future. And I got all excited, because so far I've only seen 3 PSAs and 2 ads for the BlogHer conference on here. Not that I dislike the PSAs and the BlogHer conference, but they've been on there for about a month, and I'm sure if you were going to click on them, you would have done so already. *Subliminal message: Click on the ads! Quirky gets money when you click on ads! So far she's only made about 60 cents for the whole month...click on the ads!* Anyway, I'm told that new ads are coming, so if you're thinking about going to the BlogHer conference, or donating to the Humane Society, or whatever, you better hurry and do it now!

eight- I make it a point not to say anything specific about Ye Ol Company, but they've recently given me a project that uses my newly acquired MBA skills in an area that I'm interested in. I can't really say more than that, but I can say that I'm having a blast with the project, and if it works out, I'm hoping that in a couple more months, it will expand into a full-time position. Fingers crossed!

nine- I was reading an article on Slate yesterday about the slow death of the phone book. And really, I think it's time. At least have an opt out feature, because I never use the actual book for anything anymore...I can look it up a lot faster online. Save a tree- skip my house in the phone book handouts. Or better yet, let the students at Tufts University have it- they seem to have come up for a good use for phone books.

ten- Okay, I don't want to jinx anything, but we're getting reeeeeally close to hitting 1000 visitors for this month! I'm super excited. 1000 visitors may not be a big deal for those super blogs, but it's pretty major for little ol' me. I'd like to have one of those bells ringing and balloons falling from the ceiling and confetti flying everywhere deals for the 1000th visitor, but my html isn't that sophisticated. You'll just have to pretend. If the past few days have been any indication, we should hit 1000 sometime today or tomorrow. It could be you! Right now! Yaaaay!

3/18/08 One More Than Nine and The Day Before Wednesday

Welcome to today's 10 on Tuesday! Let's just jump right in, shall we?

One- As I was reading my bloglines of my favorite bloggers today, I noticed that one of them, Adventures of the Reluctant Housewife, mentioned me! How cool is that? It appears that she's stealing the 10 on Tuesday idea, which is fine with me since I totally ripped it off from Pink Paper Peppermints. And so the Interweb cycle of life continues. I'm such a trendsetter!

Two- I like to play a game with myself while my lunch cooking in the microwave each workday. I put my frozen meal in, key in the time, and then stand against the counter. Then I lean my upper body backwards slightly and use my stomach muscles to keep myself in place. I see if I can hold the position until the microwave dings. It's only for a couple of minutes, but I figure that if I work those pesky stomach muscles a little bit each day, then maybe they'll look good by swimsuit weather. No one can really tell that you're doing anything unusual because it just looks like you're leaned up against the counter. Try it.

Three- Well, this is the last week of the Cheerios experiment. I'm not sure that my results will count for anything though, since I have discovered that according to the official Cheerios challenge, you're supposed to eat a cup and a half of Cheerios, twice a day, along with exercise and a diet low in cholesterol, for six weeks. I've only been eating one cup of Cheerios once a day, and only on weekdays. If it works, then good for me, and if it doesn't, then no harm done. Besides, those study participants deserve to have their cholesterol lowered. I'm not sure I could stand eating 126 cups of Cheerios over a six week period. I'm pretty sick of them now as it is.

Four- I'm concerned that the new Horton Hears a Who movie will completely destroy the book. Has anyone seen it? I haven't seen it yet, but the commercials for it seem to take a whole lot of liberties with the plot. I'm a book purist, so movies based on books make me cringe anyway because Hollywood always feels the need to "spice things up". But Horton? C'mon guys, don't ruin Horton! He's a vital piece of my childhood! If you've seen the movie, let me know what you think. Is it good, or is Dr. Seuss rolling over in his grave? You gotta respect The Seuss.

Five- I'm happy to announce that I have finally jumped on the fashion bandwagon and purchased myself a pair of flats. (They've only been popular for what, a year and a half or so?) I read an article that said that you could wear flats instead of tennis shoes for the ultimate in shoe cuteness, and I thought, why not? Just slipping into a pair of flats will be faster than tying shoelaces anyway. (Always practical- that's me). So I hurried over to Target and found a lovely pair of little black ballet-like flats. They have all kinds of prints and patterns available, but I thought I'd start conservatively and see how often I wore them. (Although I really like these and these and these too.) I can always expand into leopard print later.
Six- Speaking of fashion, it just hit me that Easter is this weekend and I don't have an Easter dress. I guess I'm just going to dig through the closet for something that I already have, because I don't have any time to go shopping. Besides, with our crazy Tennessee weather, there's no telling if I will need a sleeveless sundress or a winter parka. So far, the extended forecast says it'll be 60 degrees, but it can turn on you at any moment. Fingers crossed for warm weather.

Seven- BigMama wrote a post a few days ago about her daughter Caroline deciding that it would be a good idea to color her own rear end with a purple permanent marker, resulting in some excess purple ink finding its way onto her nice white toilet seat. BigMama was wondering 1) what would possess someone to want to color their own derriere purple, and 2), how to get purple permanent marker off of a white toilet seat. After I finished laughing until I cried and then laughing some more, I had to admit that I could totally see where Caroline was coming from. While I have personally never considered coloring my rear purple, I must admit that I have in the past enjoyed drawing on myself. (Although I suggest washable markers, not permanent ones). I think it is the same thing that makes people want to get tattoos, or do henna drawings on themselves. Or maybe it's just that stomachs and arms and legs make such fun canvases. Anyway, the great thing about washable markers is that you can color all over yourself and then just step in the shower and have it wash away. I highly suggest it as your next rainy day activity.

Eight- Oh ya'll, I just realized that the due date for my thesis is only four weeks away. That's super scary, because four weeks is not much time at all, especially since I've been slacking lately waiting for inspiration to hit. I have a lot left to do on it, and I'm not looking forward to it. I used to think my topic was mildly interesting, but now it bores even me to death. I pity the poor professors who will have to read it (and listen to my presentation on it, and grade it). I won't be sad to see the end of it at all.

Nine- So here's a freaky little sibling mind warp thing: Yesterday I posted the Irish toast in honor of Saint Patrick's day, and unbeknownst to me, the Seester ALSO posted the SAME Irish toast to her blog AT THE SAME TIME! What are the chances of that? Out of millions of things to write about on Saint Patrick's day, we both picked Irish toasts. And out of millions of Irish toasts (and there are a lot of them because those Irish, they love to toast), we picked the same one! Spooky huh?

Ten- I'm going to visit an old buddy this weekend! Since I'm off for Good Friday, I'm taking a short road trip over to see Eli and his Mama from Rediscovery. We've known each other since the 6th grade, and she was my college roommate for a semester for my freshman year, and even through we haven't seen each other in forever, she's one of those friends where you can just instantly pick back up with no matter how long it's been. I'm very excited. I also haven't really seen the town that I grew up in since I left for college, (10 years ago!) so it'll be interesting to see what all has changed around there. And okay, I admit that I'm kinda excited about seeing Eli again too, even though his mama tried to totally scare me off with this post about how drooly he is. (Mental note: bring lots of towels).

So that's that. Random? Yes. Helpful? Probably not. Entertaining? I hope so. The point is, it's Tuesday, and there's ten of them, so it counts as a...10 on Tuesday!

3/11/08 Diez on whatever Tuesday is in Spanish

Guess what day it is- That's right, it's Tuesday! And for my established readers (all three of you), you know that that means it's 10 on Tuesday time! Oh stop groaning- they aren't that bad. You'll scare the new readers reader that I managed to lure over here from the blog party. Anyway, every Tuesday, I list 10 random little things that I pull out of my...I mean, off the top of my head. These little things would never be substantial enough to become a post on their own, but but with their powers combined they become...an easy post to write! (You thought I was going to say Captain Planet, didn't you?) Okay, here we go:

One: Like any good post, we'll start with chocolate candy- specifically little balls of goodness called Sixlets. Anybody remember those? I had a dream about them over the weekend. Tony said that they didn't make them anymore, but when we were in the dollar store buying beef jerky yesterday, there they were! I bought a bag just for fun, and have been enjoying their dark chocolaty goodness in the little candy shell ever since.

Two: You know what? That whole sentence about buying beef jerky in the dollar store makes us sound like total rednecks, doesn't it? The truth is that a few years ago, I wouldn't have given a dollar store a passing thought. I mean, if it was only a dollar, it had to be junk, right? Not anymore. I wandered in there by accident about six months ago, and I was really shocked at all the name brand, quality stuff in there. I mean, I had just purchased shampoo at wal-mart the day before for $3-4, and here was the EXACT same shampoo for a $1! (Which made me really mad at Wal-mart for scalping me like that...low low prices my rear end!) Anyway, we don't do a ton of shopping in the Dollar Store, but we do swing by there for some specific things, such as beef jerky, which is really quite tasty, and the $1 bag would cost me $4 at Wal-mart. Tony also buys Dad's Root beer there, which is apparently something that he drank as a kid, and was excited to find again since it isn't sold anywhere else.

Three: As much as I hate hate HATE having to get up an hour earlier on this whole Daylight's Savings Time thing, I must admit that I do enjoy having an extra hour of light when I get off work in the afternoons. Plus, the weather is supposed to be sunny and mid-60s the whole rest of the week, which is soooo nice. Hooray for spring!

Four: In fact, I'm taking one of my sacred vacation days tomorrow to spend the whole day playing in the yard. I'm going to start by picking up a truckload of mulch and mulching the new flower bed that I made, and then I'm going continue project Stepping Stone, and then I'm going put down some grass fertilizer, and then I'm going to make an arbor for my grape vine. Or as much of that as possible anyway. We'll see how it goes.

Five: Speaking of my little grape vine, I'm eating the best grapes right now! (I just thought you guys should know). I really wanted some chocolate after talking about the Sixlets, but in an effort to eat better, I reached for the grapes instead. I brought a fruit basket to work a few weeks ago and set it on my desk right where I could see it. I keep a couple of apples, my bananas for my Cheerios, and a bunch or two of red seedless grapes. Anyway, these grapes are fabulous! And huge! They're like, the size of small plums, and so sweet and juicy! I hope my grape vine that I'm planting will end up with fruit this good. (Probably not, since these grapes came from Chile, but I can dream...and eat these grapes in the mean time).

Six: Speaking of Chile, according to my Spanish word of the day email from Dictionary.com, today's word is mediado, which means halfway through...which is fitting because we're now over halfway through the 10 for Tuesday. See? 10 on Tuesdays are both fun AND educational!

Seven: For those of you who care, I'm starting the regression analysis on my thesis now. My hope is that one of my six independent variables (x) will prove to be statistically significant in influencing my dependent variable (y), which is namely, forecasting variations between initial forecasts and actual shipping volume over a period of eight months. I'd like to have at least 3 variables that influence forecast accuracy, but after a precursory look at the scatter plots, I'm not so sure that will happen. Hey! Hey! Wake up! You're drooling on your keyboard...

Eight: Remember the 400 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets that I picked up at the home show? Well, I picked up another set this past weekend. (I also picked up two sets for you Stepher). I guess the word is out on these sheets now, because it was an absolute madhouse around the booth! I had to karate-chop two old ladies and full body tackle a third in order to get the king size. It was worth it though if my sweetie-pie can sleep his way through satiny soft goodness.

Nine: Well, the cat tree has been a huge success, except for one tiny flaw. It seems that Mason can climb up the cat tree, but hasn't quite mastered climbing back down the cat tree. If he's low enough, he'll jump from the cat tree down to my bench. If he's not low enough, he'll just sit on the cat tree and yell until Tony or myself rescues him. Dixon has so far decided to keep all four kitty paws planted on terra firma. I keep meaning to post the cat tree step-by-step guide, but I have to upload the pictures first. Next post, I promise!

Ten: Looking back over the post, it occurs to me that some of you may not be familiar with Captain Planet, (and thus missing my witty witty joke up there at the beginning). Captain Planet and the Planeteers was an extremely cheesy cartoon that ran in the early 90s, when I was roughly 10 years old. It had a fascinating little theme song that went "Captain Planet! He's our hero! Gonna bring pollution down to zero!" He was a blue-skinned superhero with a green mullet, and he ran around with 5 suspiciously diverse children who each had a ring that represented an earth element- Earth, Wind, Water, Fire, and Heart. Whenever the kids came across the polluting super-villains (who enjoyed dumping toxic sludge into the river just for fun), they would point their rings together to summon Captain Planet, who would, with much seizure-inducing light flashes, appear and yell, "By your powers combined...I AM CAPTAIN PLANET!" Then he would use his numerous super-powers to beat up the polluting super-villains and teach an important lesson about how to recycle. Unfortunately, this kind of exposure explains a whole lot about who I am today.

Okay all you Interpeeps, we've learned about Captain Planet, my thesis topic, the Spanish word of the day, and that Sixlets still exist at the Dollar Store. I suppose that'll just about wrap things up for today! If you're here from the blog party, welcome and nice to meetcha'. If you leave a comment, I'll look you up and return the favor. For the non-party readers, show the newbies how the comment thing works here on Quirky.