I'm getting a little frustrated about the whole job thing. Not that there aren't any jobs out there, but that I can't find one that I'm interested enough in to even apply. There's a regional magazine here called Skirt, and as I was walking past the newsstand the other day, a sentence on the front page jumped out and caught my eye. It said "...losing a job but finding a calling". And I just stopped in my tracks and stared at it for a while, because I so so so want to find a calling.
But ya'll, this is easier said than done.
I am not one of those incredibly lucky people who knew from the time that they were six that they wanted to be a doctor or lawyer or Indian chief. I didn't know at six, I didn't know at 16, and I didn't know at 26. Now 30 is rapidly sneaking up on me, and I feel that it's high time I find this calling and settle into a career darnit.
Alas, nothing seems to grab me. Despite the books, the tests, the informational interviews, nothing has really spoken to me. For two months I've been reading and researching and pleading with God for some kind of sign, but so far it's been all quiet on the western front. I've come across a couple of things that I've thought, "Well, I guess I could do that if I had to", but who wants to get up and spend their days doing something merely tolerable? I did that before, and it ended up sucking my soul dry.
I guess I'm mostly bummed because the company I was stalking turned out to not be as exciting as I had hoped. I ended up talking to people in four different departments about what they do, and what they like and don't like about their jobs, and at no point did the Heavens open and angels sing and everything click that this was where I was supposed to be. Oh I wanted it to be, that's for sure. I wanted this to be the dream job so the hunt would be over and I'd finally have found my calling, but it just wasn't there. There was no sense of rightness. Now I'm wondering if that really exists, or am I wasting time looking for the Mr. Right of jobs when I should just be settling for Mr. Whatever comes along.
The good news is that we're still financially stable enough to allow me to hold out a little longer while the Fates align and my dream job shows up, but the bad news is that I'm ready, willing, and able to work now...if I just knew where to go.
Ya'll tell me- what do you think I should do?