On CNN today...
News Reporter: ...it's a bit unusual, but one couple recently held their wedding in a Bass Pro Shop...
Me: Dear Lord, please don't let them be from the South! It's hard enough to fight the redneck stereotype as it is.
News Reporter: ...the bride had a white and camo themed wedding dress specially made...
Me: Anywhere but Tennessee! Anywhere but Tennessee! Anywhere but Tennessee!
(Cut to interview with groom, whose accent is so thick you could spread it with a knife and eat it on toast).
Me: Just not this part of Tennessee, Lord! Let them be from Memphis! Let them be blissfully joined in holy matrimony in a Bass Pro shop 7 hours away from here!
News Reporter:...the new Mr and Mrs Honeycutt from Sevier County Tennessee!
Me: Oh jeez.
Now, before I sound too harsh, I would just like to say that I send my sincerest congratulations to the happy couple, I really do. And I think that a bride has every right to have the wedding of her dreams without anyone saying boo about it. But seriously? A camouflaged wedding dress in a Bass Pro shop? That doesn't sound like every little girl's dream. That sounds like a media stunt. In the Bass Pro Shop closest to me. And then replayed on national TV for the world to mock. Which makes me wince and shudder at the same time. Because how are we as a region ever going to overthrow the hillbilly stereotype if we keep acting like hillbillies?
I swear, we'll be honeymooning in Wal-mart next.