12/11/08 Because Just Saying "I Have A New Floor" Would Be Boring

Once upon a time there was a castle. And in the castle lived four little princes. And the little princes were very good at using their royal litter boxes. But one day, Prince Dixon was waylaid by an evil urinary tract infection, and it hurt very much to use the royal litter box. So Prince Dixon expressed his discomfort by tinkling on the royal carpet in the office. And the King and Queen were very upset. So they commanded the castle SpotBot to get on that, and they took Prince Dixon to the local healer for some medicine.

Only the evil urinary tract infection raged on, and Prince Dixon (unbeknownst to the rest of the royal family) continued to find new and varying places to wee-wee on the floor of the office. And the King and Queen were very upset because suddenly the entire office smelled like cat pee and they couldn’t figure out why. So after trying various carpet cleaning devices, they finally decided that it would just be better to rip all the royal carpet up out of the office and replace it with laminate flooring.

And so they moved all of the furniture out of the royal office, and then pulled up all the carpet, and the padding, and then got down on their hands and knees and pulled up tack strips and staples until their hands blistered and their backs cramped. The royal family was very sad, and darkness ruled over the land.

But still they soldiered on and put down the moisture barrier pad, which all the little princes enjoyed playing on.

And then they started laying floor, which was surprisingly easy due to the whole snapping and locking in place floating floor deal. The whole room only took a couple of hours. And THAT made the King and Queen very happy.

And so all the kingdom rejoiced because the castle smelled good again, and Prince Dixon got over his evil infection and quit tinkling on the floor, and all the other princes soon discovered that if they ran really really fast to the royal food bowls, they could slide all the way across the office floor, which they liked.

So the moral of the story is that if you have carpet that has seen better days, rip that stuff out and go with the interlocking laminate flooring. It’s fast, it’s easy, and the little princes won’t tinkle on it.

The end.