11/17/09 Layers and Teasings and Bangs, Oh My!

Ya'll bear with me today. I have a cold.

Now, I know what you're saying. You're out there screeching "H1N1 flu!" and making the sign of the cross while wiping down the computer screen with Lysol. And if I had the flu, I totally wouldn't blame you.

But it isn't. It's just your average run-of-the-mill cold. Which on the up side, probably won't really kill me, but on the down side, it's all of the crappy cold symptoms and none of the sympathy.

(Moment of silence for my poor nose, which will probably never be the same again after this).

Anyway, as much as I know you're looking forward to a minute-by-minute description of all the sneezing and sniffling and OH MY WORD THE PRESSURE IN MY EARS, I'm not going to do it. Ya'll have all had colds...just remember back to how it was and pity me.

Instead, we're going to talk about a serious issue of national importance, and by that I mean my hair.

(Yes, again. Shut up).

I'm in serious need of guidance. I have a haircut scheduled in exactly 2 hours, and I don't know what I want. I'd like something different and, you know, stunning, but I have no idea what that looks like. I do know I don't want to go shorter...I'm just getting it back out to a length that I like after the last haircut's misunderstanding (I was gesturing at chin level for the length that I wanted the front and she thought I meant that I wanted all of it that length. And once you take that first hearty snip, there's no going back). So not shorter.

And I guess I could tell her to put layers in it again, but to be honest, I don't really see how they help. Mostly they just succeed in sneaking out of my ponytail holder halfway though my cardio so that by the time I've finished it looks like I went 15 rounds with my head in a blender. So no layers (or at least, not short ones).

And do I dare even think about getting...bangs? Normally, I wouldn't so much as consider such a ridiculous suggestion because I have a round face and a small forehead (two major bang no-nos), but the Seester (who also shares the genetic tiny forehead) recently cut her hair and the stylist gave her "faux bangs" which are really more side wisps than actual bangs but still have the totally enviable effect of looking AWESOME. And I am really really jealous. Of course, it's entirely possible that the faux bangs work on the Seester because she has straight hair, whereas if I tried to get faux bangs, they would scrunch and curl and poof and despite my best efforts end up looking like Sally from Peanuts.

Which looks lovely on her but is not so good when you aren't a little girl.

Or, you know, a cartoon character.

So maybe not with the bangs. Although that basically leaves me with just walking in and being like, "Well, I guess you could wash it, even though I did that this morning. But no cutting!" Which kind of misses the whole point of a haircut.

Not to mention I had to schedule this haircut two months ago because the holidays are quickly approaching and everybody is getting their Christmas photo hair styles, so if I canceled the appointment today I wouldn't be able to get another one until roughly 2012. (Which may or may not be the Apocalypse, in which case a snazzy 'do probably wouldn't matter all that much anyway). So, haircut good. Just as soon as I figure out what the heck I'm doing.

So any suggestions, oh wise Internet? Any advice you can give a round faced, no forehead girl with natural curl and a need to stay shoulder length or longer? I don't know what to do and I need ya'll to talk me down from the edge, because I'm beginning to see the wisdom behind Tony just shaving his head.