Posts
I was out
Tony: wecanswitchtosatelliteforcheaperthanwe'repayingnowforcable!
Me: You're gonna have to run that by me again, killer.
Tony (hyperventilating): Satellite! Cheaper than cable! More channels! Cubs all the time!
Now I get it. Tony's major beef with the city of Knoxville is that it has the audacity not to be located in the same region as Chicago, and since local sports stations will only show regional games, we get the Braves games all the time, but not the Cubs games. Same thing with football. Tony wants the Bears...we get the Falcons and the Titans. (Tony considers this a personal affront, purposely imposed by the city of Knoxville just to torment him. I've never figured out why the city of Knoxville is to blame instead of say, the cable company, or the local sports stations themselves, but that's the way it is. Knoxville is punishing Tony). Plus, Tony has been suffering with only about 100 TV stations for years, which is apparently piddley when compared to the 1000s of channels available. So not only is Tony forced to watch regional NFL and MLB while his beloved Cubs and Bears are overlooked by the evil, evil cable company (and/or the city of Knoxville, depending on who you're talking to), but he only has 99 other channels to flip through while the commercials are on. The last straw though, the very one that broke the Tony's back, was when said evil cable company REMOVED 5 OF OUR CHANNELS. (I had no clue that they had done this, but Tony was outraged). Apparently, one of these channels that the cable company blatantly stole from us was ESPN Classic, which featured some show called Stump the Swhwab, which Tony occasionally watched. (They also quit providing MSNBC, which Tony also claims to have watched, but I've never seen it on). He decided that enough was enough, so he started researching satellite. (We had looked into satellite before, but after talking to people who lost their connection every time the wind blew, we decided to hold off on it). It seems, however, that the satellite company has recently upgraded all of their equipment to better remain uninterrupted when there's rain, or wind, or the neighbor's sprinkler is on. That was good, but the clincher is that a certain Dish Network provides a certain package called America's Top 200, which is 200 channels of TV viewing bliss, including sports stations from ALL OVER THE COUNTRY that will show the Cubs even when they're on the road, PLUS something called NFL Ticket, which shows football games on Thursdays for some reason and will also show Da Bears no matter where they play. Oh! My! Goodness! Tony is so excited that he cannot even stand it! Which brings us back to the announcement in the front flowerbed, where Tony has been rattling off all the stations we'll get. I don't really care about the free months of HBO or all the sports stations, and Tony knows that, so he goes right for my big money winners:
Me: HGTV?
Tony: yep.
Me: DIY?
Tony: Yep.
Me: Weather Channel?
Tony: Yep.
That takes care of my TV requirements, but Tony's going for the slam dunk win:
Tony: Annnnnd, it will actually be cheaper than what we are paying now.
Me: Hmmm.
Tony: And, we have a clear view of the southern sky, so service will be crystal clear.
Me: Hmmm.
Tony: Installation is free.
Me: Hmmm.
Tony: And, we'll have lots and lots of music channels. You know how you like satellite radio, yeah?
Me: Really? Radio too huh? That could be nice.
Tony: And, they'll throw in a free DVR.
Me: Sold!
So the satellite people are coming on Saturday to install our very own fancy hubcap to the side of the house. Tony has been doing his happy dance all week in anticipation, I'm sure that most of the next century will be spent in a TV-induced coma. Cubs and Bears and free HBO. It's like Tony's Ultimate Dream Christmas in July.
And I might even watch a little too.
