10/21/06 Sophisticated bathrooms

Gary decided to bail out on hiking this weekend (lame-o), which is why I found myself with a fantastically free Saturday and nothing to do. I was going to lounge around, I was going to watch tv, I was read and soak in the tub and do absolutely nothing. It would be glorious.

Yeah. That lasted half an hour.

The problem is that my favorite station (HGTV) are all about people doing something, like gardening or building something or redecorating their house. And I cannot, in good conscience, watch other people redecorating their houses without taking a good hard look at my own. Anyway, I was watching the Design Remix crew redo this guy's bachelor pad (thank goodness! He had...do I dare say it? White. Walls. White. As in, the way the builder left them. Barf. It's a good thing that Karen got there when she did). Anywho, as she's fearlessly slapping paint on the walls and covering a truly hideous couch with a slip cover, she turns to the camera and says, "Brown is a very sophisticated color". Sure enough, the guy's room looks great, which reminds me how much I HATE my guest bathroom. Hate. It. It has the same dirty looking paint and horrible country floral wallpaper border that the previous owners put up. The only reason that it survived as long as it has is because I just don't know what to replace it with. But now, now I am emboldened! I will transform my guest bathroom! People will ohhhh and ahhh over it. It will inspire! So off to Lowe's I go.

Normally, picking out new paint would be easy. Just paint it blue. (I love blue. It's the one color that I'm drawn to, over and over. The outside of my house is blue. My living room is blue. My kitchen is blue. My office is blue. My garden theme is blue. Blue makes me happy. Unfortunately, Tony has gotten a little blued out. "No more blue rooms!" He says. So I'll just have to find something not blue). Easier said than done. I throw out the reds, yellows, greens, purples (although I thought about that one for a while, being a cousin of blue, after all) cremes, oranges, and all colors in between. Then I spy...a brown. Normally, I wouldn't even consider brown walls (ack!), but Karen's little voice in my head says "Brown is a very sophisticated color" AAAAND, it's not blue. And I need to branch out...explore outside my color comfort zone (blue). Plus, it's the color of good melted chocolate, and how bad can that be? So I get some. Brown is a very sophisticated color. And I take it home. Brown is a very sophisticated color. And I strip the old wallpaper off (already a huge improvement) and I slap the first brushful of color on the walls. Brown is a very sophisticated color. And I paint some more, (brown is a very sophisticated color) and step back to get the full effect, and brown is...the color of poop. I have painted my bathroom poop brown. While it may inspire regularity, this was not the effect I was going for. But maybe that's just me. Maybe everyone else will still ooooh and ahhh over my sophisticated bathroom. Tony comes home and glances at the new bathroom color. "Looks like poop" he says, as he heads back towards the bedroom. "BROWN IS A VERY SOPHISTICATED COLOR!" I yell after him.

Actually, the brown is growing on me. Once I got over the initial shock, I realized that it is kind of a nice color, and isn't quite so poopy once it dries. It's the color of melted milk chocolate, and has a rich, creamy look. Kinda like a dark suede. And it does look sophisticated. And classy. All I need now for it to be perfect are some bathroom accessories in a coordinating color...like blue.