10/3/06 Science Gives Us the Finger

Long fingered freaks finally have something to celebrate! This study finds "women with ring fingers longer than their index fingers had performed better at running and associated running sports such as soccer and tennis." (Mine is indeed a tiny bit longer than my index finger, which probably means that I can run, but would rather not). The study goes on to say that this is genetic, but I figure that it started when the long fingered cave-girls got better at running because they had to chase down the short-fingered cave-girls who were no doubt calling them "monkey hands". Being long-fingered and slightly over 5'8", I can still claim that it's instinct that makes me what to pummel the "dainty" and "petite" women who can wear the fitted shirts that actually hit them at the waist instead of the lower ribs.

Too bad the study didn't say anything good about your freakishly long ape-toes, huh Stepher?