11/19/07 Dixon's Poo Problem

My kitty cat is sick. Poor little Dixon will be so embarrassed when he finds out that I'm sharing this with the internet world, but I'm his mother, so embarrassment is what I do. Plus, I'm hoping someone out there has gone through a similar situation, and can give me some advice. (Caution: if you're like Tony's family, and the mere mention of bodily functions -even in felines- sends you recoiling back in horror, then let this also serve as fair warning: we're talking about poo today).

Here's the thing: He's constipated. We noticed two weeks ago that Dixon was trying to go to the potty and...well, couldn't. Completely stopped up. So Tony made an appointment with a vet, and they gave him an enema. And as usually happens with enemas, Dixon's eyes got really big, and he rocketed around the room until he exploded. Several times. And we patted ourselves on the backs for being the good kitty parents that we are, and relieving Dixon's suffering, even if it did involve a hose up the rear. Unfortunately, Dixon immediately got stopped up again. So, two days later, we took him to another vet. (This had nothing to do with the enema...we've been shopping around for a good one, and that last guy, while effective, was also kind of a jerk). New vet was much more thorough. X-rays were taken, and sure enough, the kitty is chock-full of poo. Exams of his colon, pelvis, and erm...hind end were done in great agonizing detail. All normal. Blood work was done. Normal. Urine tests were done. Normal. Hormone, thyroid, and a billion other tests were all done. Normal, normal, normal. Basically, there is NO PHYSICAL REASON why Dixon doesn't poo. He just won't. (To be fair, I also tried this route when I was a child and decided that poo was over-rated and I just wouldn't do it anymore. My result was the same as Dixon's. So just in case this was a battle of kitty wills, I sat him down and explained that all things HAVE to poo, even if they don't want to). No dice.

Yes, we've tried laxative. It's a fabulous tube of stuff called Laxatone, and we have it in chicken AND tuna flavor. I'm told cats loooooove this stuff. Will devour it right out of the tube (much the same way I do with cookie dough). Not Dixon. He doesn't really care for the taste. We've been hiding it in his food to get him to eat it. That cat has enough laxatone in him to clean out an entire city, but still no poo.
The vet also gave us a high fiber, low calorie wet canned food. The thinking is that the high fiber plus the extra moisture in the food would help move things along. And, unlike laxatone, I'm told cats loooooove this stuff. Yeah, except for Dixon. He wants his crunchy dry food, not the wet mushy stuff. We've been suffering through his disapproving glares every time he sees the stuff in the food bowl. Plan B involves smearing it on his crunchy food like pate on crackers and feeding it to him one. crunchy. at. a. time. It gets very old.
We've also tried mineral spirits. It's colorless, tasteless and odorless, so cats loooooove this stuff. (Oh, if I had a quarter for every time I've heard that one...) As you probably guessed, Dixon does not care for it. It also gets mixed into the crunchy food, although this tends to make them mushy and unappealing. Even so, he's managed to eat enough that his insides should be slicker than a presidential candidate on election day (and equally full of poo), so this should be doing the trick. Sadly, nothing. (Have you ever seen the Scrubs musical episode where they sing "Everything comes down to poo"? It's my new theme song).
The vet also gave us some medicine, which is supposed to take care of any bowel inflammation that may be going on. It's in pill form, but the pill dissolves in water, so we figured we could just syringe the medicine water into Dixon's mouth (he doesn't do pills very well). Are you seeing a pattern here yet? Can you guess what happens next? Let's just say that Dixon is not a fan of the squirting of the medicine water into the mouth. We managed to get one squirt in. Dixon showed his displeasure by drooling and foaming at the mouth like Cujo. I'm serious! Drool blobs all over the floor and enough foam to put any rabid dog to shame. Then he ran upstairs to drool and foam under the bed where we couldn't reach him. Unfortunately, there was no pooing to go along with the drooling and foaming. Subsequently, the pill was mashed up and sprinkled in Dixon's food.
We've gotten a little desperate at this point. Dixon is on to the fact that we've slipped all matter of things into his food, so he's not eating very much anymore. He completely distrusts anything that Tony gives him, which means it's fallen to me to spoon feed Dixon. Even this has had dwindling success. We went out and purchased one of those kitty drinking fountains that vets swear will make cats want to drink more. We tried to exercise him vigorously, because according to Pet MD, that stimulates the 'ol bowels. I even gave him a bowl of warm milk, because hey, that works for me. No poo. Not even a teeny weenie bit.

Soooo. Tony's out purchasing a can of pumpkin now, since websites have suggested that it is a good source of fiber and (get this) cats loooooove it. I don't put any stock in anything that cats looooove, so any other ideas on how to unclog the kitty are more than welcome. Hey, we'll even take ideas that have unclogged dogs, humans, birds, turtles, and I-75. We have to find something soon, or else Dixon gets another friendly visit from Mr. Enema...And everybody knows that cats looooooove that.