So What Are You Wearing?

My cold lingers on. I think we’re on Day 9 of my trials and tribulations. This is the same cold that Tony so lovingly shared with me last week. DESPITE me taking my body weight in vitamin C (the taste of which I have really come to despise) AND the gross cough medicine AND gagging myself with the throat spray while Tony took NONE of it, his cold miraculously disappeared as soon as it became apparent that it wasn’t going to help him get out of whitewater rafting. My cold, not to be a copycat, went the opposite direction and stepped it up a notch. Not enough for me to actually go to the doctor, but enough to keep me hacking and sniffing and carrying around partially shredded wads of damp, germ-filled tissues.

Yeah, I’m bringing sexy back.

Stupid cold. It was okay when we both suffered together, because the sounds of extreme nose-blowing isn’t as disgusting when both people are doing it, but as soon as his excess mucus disappeared, I was left being the gross one. The good news is that I’ve purchased enough cold medicine that I’m now on the FBI’s watch list as a possible meth lab dealer. The bad news is that it doesn’t seem to help.

As an added bonus, I have also developed a barking cough that sounds like a basset hound with a mega-phone and the gravelly two-pack a day smoker’s voice. I’m thinking of starting a new career as a phone operator for a 900 number. Rasping out “so what are you wearing?” should be an easy way to bring in the cash needed for more ineffective cold medicine.

I hope the Feds are paying attention.


Jean said...

You probably should get it checked out. I know from your previous health crises that you put it off until the bitter end, just like I would have. You would think you would have learned a lesson.

Not that I'm lecturing or anything. :)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, what Jean said!!! And I AM lecturing!
Momma Quirk!

Reluctant Housewife said...

I hope you feel better soon.