Super Bowl Silliness

So it's super bowl Sunday, in case you've been living under a rock or, like me, watching TV with Tony on Wednesday and being all, "What's with the sudden increase in football commercials?" (He just stared at me for a minute before shaking his head in pity. See what he has to put up with?) But while I may not have technically known that the Superbowl was this weekend, I am proud to report that I do know who is playing in it. Peyton Manning and the rest of his team, who are officially known as "those other guys who are lucky enough to play with Peyton Manning", and the Saints (which I only know because of the football party that the Seester dragged me to when I was in Chicago and everyone there was pro-Saints). See now? Aren't you impressed at my football-suaveness? (Actually, guessing that Peyton is going to be in the super bowl isn't really that impressive since he's been playing in the super bowl for the last bazillion years so there's a 99.9% chance he'll be in this one too. But never mind that. Just be impressed with my sports trivia knowledge).

Naturally, being a Tennessean and all, I'll be rooting for the Colts. See, Peyton Manning is something of an icon around here due to him doing such a fantastic job for the Volunteers when he was at UT, so now it's state law that when the Titans aren't playing, you must automatically cheer for Peyton. (Failure to do so results in a $25,000 fine and 10 years imprisonment). I think he actually has a bigger fan base here than he does in Indianapolis. He may be gone, but he is our beloved native son, and we do not forget. For example:
  • Our wal-mart has Colts shirts, Colts cupcakes, Colts foam fingers, and Colts Mardi Gras beads (which you would think would be for the Saints, but you'd be wrong) all over the front of the store, available at any given time throughout the football season.
  • We're still carrying a grudge about not getting the Heisman trophy 13 years later (a conspiracy, I tell you. He was robbed).
  • The number of children (male and female) named Peyton over the last 10 years has skyrocketed. You can't throw a rock without hitting a Peyton (which, coincidentally, is also a $25,000 fine and 10 years imprisonment).
  • A Peyton jersey is acceptable church attire.
  • We all refer to Peyton by his first name only, because 1) everyone considers themselves one of his close personal friends, and 2) everyone automatically knows who you are talking about when you say Peyton anyway.
  • Manning commercials are the only ones we will rewind the DVR to watch a second time. (Yes, even that one where he's eating Oreos with Donald Trump).
  • We will cheer for Eli Manning (assuming that he is not playing the Colts or the Titans) just because he shares some of the same genetic makeup as his older brother. (Although we are still trying to get over the sting that he went to Ole Miss instead of here like Peyton).
  • My mother is still upset that Peyton and I missed being at UT together by one year. Had I gotten there one year earlier, or he stay one year later, she is sure he would have no doubt discovered me and fallen madly in love. She still considers him "the one that got away".
So, I think it's safe to say that the only logical choice is to cheer for the Colts. I have nothing against you Saints, other than the fact that you made the poor choice to go to the Superbowl against a Manning, and must therefore be soundly defeated. Oh, and Peyton? My mother says to call me.