6/16/07 27 Years Today!

For all you extremely astute people out there, you probably already noticed that the little age-o-meter in the bio to the right has clicked over from 26 to 27. If you're not one of those astute people, then I'll just tell you: It's my birthday today! I'll give you a minute to run through the Happy Birthday song in my honor...

Still singing? Take your time.

Bring it home now! "...Hap-py Birthday tooooo (high note here) yooooooouuu!"

Thank you very much. You are a wonderful singer. I really appreciate it. No present? Don't worry about it. You just being here is enough. (Although if you insist, I take cash, check, or paypal). Oh, and did I mention it was Tony's birthday too? Yes, I know! Same day, same year. Amazing. Of course, he'll require his own birthday song. No worries, you can sing it for him later.

So now we can no longer really claim mid-20's anymore. We're sliding down that slippery slope to late 20's, and all too quickly headed for old age, also known as 30. (Shudder!) But I'll worry about that in a few years.

All in all though, this birthday rocked! Seriously, probably a top 5 birthday day. I had an awesome day at the lake with the fam, then an awesome cookout with the extended fam, then awesome birthday cake cooked by yours truly (although with a little help from the Pillsbury doughboy). And the loot! An incredible haul this year. Way more than I expected or deserve (thanks Mom and Dad and Steph!) It was really good to have everyone together to party like that. I must say that I'm particularly blessed to have been born into this most wonderful family 27 years ago today.

6/15/07 People Watching

I'm sitting at one of the outdoor tables at Macleod's, a restaurant and bar at the corner of Market Square. They have great cheeseburgers and fries here, so I've come to sit in the sunshine and watch people while I eat my burger. The first thing I see is a mother, Gramps, and a small child. Mom has managed to collapse a very complex looking stroller, and she's fighting to get it into the trunk of the car. The small child is just tall enough to see over the lip of the trunk, so he's monitoring the stroller struggle very intently. Grandpa is holding a green pool noodle. He's using the end of it to hit Mom on the arm as she tries to push the stroller in. He has a twinkle in his eye. He's trying to see how long it will take her to react to the noodle's attacks. Finally, she snatches the noodle away and puts it in the trunk good-naturedly. Gramps turns his attention to the child, and scoops him up sideways in his arms. The boy squeals. Meanwhile, there's a well dressed woman waiting on the corner next to my table. She's looking for someone. She's wearing a pink cardigan and a nice skirt, and black sandals. She looks very put together, but she's annoyed because she doesn't see the person she's looking for. There's a gnat that keeps buzzing around my face, despite my attempts to wave him away. A Valley Produce truck stops across the street. The logo says that Great Potatoes are our Specialty! Two women walk by sharing a recipe. I hear one say, "...chopped tomatoes with a balsamic vinaigrette...". The guy at the table next to me has knocked his drink over. He's picking up the ice cubes with his hands and putting them back into his glass. I pretend that I don't notice. A woman walks by with a bag full of library books. (I walk that same route with my bag of library books a couple of times a week. I hope she picked some good ones). The gnat is back. Two very pregnant women are walking together. They get to the end of the sidewalk and step off the curb with some difficulty. A pickup truck waits for them to slowly cross the street. There's a couple two tables over from me. The woman has been running a monologue for about 15 minutes straight. The man hasn't said a word. (Sometimes I feel like that when I'm talking to Tony. I'll realize I've been talking endlessly just to try to hit on something that he'll comment on. I've gotten to where I'll just stop and say "This is the point in the conversation where you say something"). I can't tell if this woman wants the man to comment or if she just has a lot to say. A group of 4 or 5 lawyers/bankers walk by. They all have very nice shoes. I wonder if it is a job requirement for them to have such nice shiny shoes. They pass a family walking the other way. The Dad has a little girl riding on his shoulders. She has a bright red bow in her hair. My burger and fries come. Pink Cardigan Woman has finally found who she was looking for. He's a guy in jeans and an old t-shirt. I never would have put those two together. She's annoyed with him. A woman and a little girl walk by. They're both singing "Loo, loo, Skip to my loo! Skip to my loo my darlin'." (I wonder if this song is really about skipping to a bathroom). Non-Stop Talking Woman's food has arrived. She's telling the waiter that she ordered rice, not fries. He's taking her plate back. A guy is delivering a bunch of office water cooler bottles. He has 6 of them balanced on a dolly. He rolls them off the same curb that gave the pregnant women such trouble. He doesn't give the curb a second thought. I'm now humming the Skip to My Loo song. Non-Stop Talker's rice has arrived. That doesn't slow her down a bit. Still not a word from the man with her. A teenaged girl with dyed black hair, a black t-shirt, black capris, and black Coverse shoes walks by. I wonder if I could get away with wearing capris and my Chucks at the same time. Mine aren't black, but it still may be a little too "alternative" for me. Some bikes cops have stopped under the shade of the trees to talk to each other. A car drives by. It has "Lady Bandits are # 1!" written on the back windshield. Erica # 3 is on the side. I wonder who the Lady Bandits are and what they play. Two guys meet on the other side of the street. One is a young guy in jeans and a polo shirt. The other is older with a tie and Dockers. They shake hands and talk animatedly. Another unlikely pair. The gnat lands on the side of my sunglasses. I should just squish him and put him out of my misery. There is a person taking pictures with a small digital camera. I can't tell if it is a man or a woman. They are snapping shots of Krutch park by holding the camera out at arm's length for long periods of time. Non-stop talker and her silent companion leave. A woman comes out of Bliss. She is pushing a rolling cart with a large overstuffed beige chair on it. She pushes it to the road and waits. The sun has moved so that I'm no longer in the shade of the umbrella overhead. It's getting warm. I can hear the guy who regularly plays the guitar in Market Square. He's singing something, but I can't make out the words from here. A guy walks up and asks if he can sit at my table. He's got a book in his hand and headphones on, so he's not one to try to make small talk. I hate small talk. I gesture towards the chair opposite me. I've decided that the picture-taker is a woman. A woman with no curves but very muscular arms. A man in suspenders walks by. You don't see suspenders very often anymore. Woman with overstuffed chair has supervised its loading into the back of a truck. She's going back to the store to get a red sofa. My check has come. I nod to the guy sharing my table and leave the patio. On the way out I notice that non-stop talker didn't eat any of her rice. Probably too much talking. All these different people from all these different places are doing all these different things, yet the thing that they have in common is that they all came together during the same hour on a Friday afternoon in downtown Knoxville to entertain me during lunch.

6/14/07 Neat-o

Here's something cool that I came across today...Microsoft Surface.

http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/industry/4217348.html

The future of home computing is the coffee table.

6/13/07 Dad's Diving Desire

Dad was on the news! It was awesome. They did a really great job with the story. I cried. Check out the video below.

Some 30 Years Later Former Vol Diver Bob Chistiansen Continues on in the Sport Which Nearly Cost Him His Life!


Here's the link to the story if the video doesn't open for you, but I recommend the video first:
http://www.volunteertv.com/sports/headlines/7966862.html

6/12/07 In Late Breaking News...

Be sure to watch Channel 8 Volunteer TV tonight Quirky Fans! The Quirky Dad's diving interview will be on! The teaser runs at 6pm, and the full news story is at 11pm. I'm told that there will be streaming video of it posted on the news website tomorrow, so I'll be sure to link over to it from here in case you miss it.

Be sure to watch! Record it even! Replay it at Christmas parties and Barmitzvahs!

6/12/07 Hotlanta

With all the fried cheese goodness overwhelming my senses yesterday, I forgot to tell ya'll about my weekend trip to Atlanta! Tony's sister just moved down there a few months ago, and we decided that it'd be nice to visit her. (Actually, we decided that we'd go watch the Cubs play the Braves, and were like, "Who do we know down there where we can crash at their place for free? But we also got to see Mary, which was nice, because I don't think we've seen her since last Thanksgiving). Tony's parents also had the same idea, so Mary had a lot of visitors show up on her doorstep this weekend. Tony wanted to get an early start down there on Saturday morning, so he woke me up at 7am. 7am! As in, in the morning! On a Saturday! The sun was just barely up. The only reason he still breathes is because I knew I could go back to sleep in the car. Anyway, by 7:30 we had gathered up our overnight bags and Garmin, and were on the road. We got the Garmin for Christmas last year, and it's one of Tony's most beloved possessions. He loves that it tells him exactly where to go and when in its soothing Garmin voice (I did the same thing before Garmin with a map, but apparently it's not the same. Garmin does it better). I wasn't even allowed to hold Garmin until about a month ago. This is how cool Garmin is. Tony and Garmin are BFF. Unfortunately, Garmin neglected to tell Tony that he had forgotten the tickets to the game back at home, so an hour into the trip, we had to turn around and go back to get them. That delayed us a few hours, which Garmin very helpfully factored in to our arrival time. It was after 1pm when we got to Atlanta, so we had a quick bite to eat and then headed to the Atlanta Zoo. (Ever since his stint as a zookeeper, Tony has factored zoo trips in for each city we travel to. A lot of the zoos have partnerships where because we're members of the Knoxville Zoo, we can get in free or at a reduced costs to other zoos. We've seen the zoos in Chicago, Nashville, Nassau, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, and now Atlanta). It's a nice zoo with lots of monkey exhibits and some really awesome baby otters (one of which only eats canned cat food because she doesn't like fish), but according to Tony the petting zoo isn't as neat as Knoxville's. Right across the street from the zoo parking lot is Hank's Ice Cream Shop, which seemed like the perfect treat after a day of zoo safari. I highly recommend it if you're ever in the area. They give you massive scoops of ice cream. Anyway, Turner Field was right down the street from the zoo and the ice cream shop, so we just headed on over. You may have heard that the Cubs lose because of the Curse of the Goat. In reality, it's the Curse of the Goose that makes them lose. I have never seen the Cubs win in person. Every year we get tickets and go to a few games, and every year, they lose all the games we've come to watch. It makes Tony crazy. Sometimes they'll lose just because I'm watching them on TV. (And you just thought it was due to their lousy bull pen). Saturday night was no different, and despite all our cheering, the Cubs blew a beautiful 4 run lead. That's okay though. I was fully expecting it. We ate $6 hot dogs and $5 slices of pizza and drank $5 cokes and generally had lots of fun anyway. It was a near record crowd for Turner Field...most were Braves fans, but a pretty good showing were Cubs fans too. The rest were girls who had no team affiliation at all, but seemed to think that baseball games were the new club scene, and were wearing as little as possible. On the way out, I was even verbally heckled by what I can only assume was a drunk prostitute. (I know she was falling down drunk...the clothes lead me to believe that she was a hooker. If she wasn't, she did an really good impression. Didn't her momma ever teach her how to dress herself better? And not get stupid drunk in crowds? And not yell out that Prior sucks while surrounded by Cubs fans?) I thought about tripping her just to watch her fall, but I'm a gracious loser, so I just ignored her. (A beacon of good sportsmanship, I am). All in all, we had a fabulous time. Special thanks to Mary for allowing us to crash on her airbed and eat all of her Sunchips while we were down there. You're welcome up to Knoxville to return the favor anytime. We'll go to the zoo and eat ice cream and see a Smokies game. If we're lucky, we might even heckle some intoxicated Braves fans.

6/11/07 Ode to the Fried Cheese

So today was lunch at Arby's day because it's just too hard to think about feeding yourself when you're trying to get out of the house on a Monday morning. (To be fair, I did at least look in the fridge to see if anything jumped out at me, but since it didn't, I'm good with Arby's). They're currently doing a pick 5 things for $5 deal. You can choose from about 8 or so different things, including a beef and cheddar, ham and cheddar, curly fries, apple turnover, milkshake, medium drink, mozzarella sticks, and some other things that don't matter because I already mentioned the mozzarella sticks. I have renamed it the school day deal, because on days that I have school, I go over and get two beef and cheddars, 2 orders of mozzarella, and an apple turnover. One mozzarella and sandwich is for lunch, one mozzarella and sandwich is for dinner at school, and the apple turnover usually ends up being 3:30pm snack. I like it oh so much. (Although sometimes the apple turnover is substituted for, oh I don't know, a third order of mozzarella). Can you tell that I'm a fan of the mozzarella goodness? Actually, if you want the best mozzarella sticks anywhere, you have to go to Sonic. Trust me on this one...I've been taste-testing mozzarella sticks all over the country for years. Anyway, Sonic cheese sticks take 1st place for best all around yumminess. They're cheesy, they're greasy (in a tasty way, not in a stomach turning way), and they're less than $3. It's fried cheese heaven baby! Seriously, they're better than the ones in restaurants, which are usually going for $6. I would say that second place goes to Applebee's, because the outsides are consistently crunchy and the insides are consistently melty. Then Arby's is 3rd, but I eat them the most because they're within walking distance of work. (If you own a restaurant that offers fried mozzarella sticks, and would like my professional review, please send several samples to me and I will be happy to post my opinion on them. The more you send, the higher your score. Free lifetime supply offers automatically win).
And yes, as it happens, fried cheese is coursing through my blood stream as we speak. And I'm okay with that.

6/6/07 The Purse Meme

I've seen this purse meme going around and thought I'd try it. (I know, I know, its a cop-out instead of writing real stuff. I'll shoot for witty and charming tomorrow). Anyway, the idea is to allow virtual purse snooping. This would be better if I was someone exciting like an international spy (video camera pin, exploding breath mint, poison arrow darts pretending to be eyeliner), or if I was Jane Goodall (gorilla pictures, gorilla poop, baby gorilla), or even a kleptomaniac (stolen pack of gum, stolen sirloin, stolen Hope diamond) but the best you get is quirky, and pretty normal quirky at that (if there is such a thing). You can tell a lot about a person from their purse though, so free to leave your purse-based analysis of my personality on the comment section.

I only carry one purse. I'm not one of those people who "accessorizes" purses to shoes or whatever. (Forget matching. I'm lucky to get out the door with a purse and shoes period. You'll never accuse me of being a slave to fashion). For me, the purse is just the vehicle to transport my necessary junk. It's black, and I carry it even if I'm wearing brown and even though it's summer. (I hear you all tut-tutting out there). I bought it at this classy high-end boutique called "Walmart" for $10. I'll carry it until it literally falls apart and the zipper jams and the purse strap breaks (6 months max), and then I'll go buy another $10 purse from walmart. Rinse and repeat.

This particular purse is in the styling of two zippered compartments with outside pockets. On the front, we have the cell phone carrying pocket and the PDA carrying pocket. Extremely handy, as I use these two things the most. Right now they both fit perfectly (which was the reason I bought the purse in the first place). Question for ya'll out there: My cell phone contract runs out at the end of this month, so I'll get a new phone then. I like the smaller flip phones, but then it wouldn't fit so perfectly in my little phone holder spot, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do. (This is what the MIS book refers to as an "Ethical Dilemma"). Small phone vs fits perfectly in designated pocket. What's a girl to do? Discuss amongst yourselves and let me know what you decide.

Moving on. In the middle section, we have the sunglasses case, the Mearle Norman pressed powder foundation in Ultra Golden, a round brush with emergency pony tail holder, a rubber band reinforced pill box containing ibuprofen and Allegra (because once all the Allegra escaped and I had to dig them out of the bottom of my purse where all the dust and loose strands of hair live, so now it's rubber banded as an added security measure), a tape measure, key ring with keys and a plastic clear pig that Tony got when he worked at Smithfield Foods, and some OPI limited holiday edition glitter moisturizer called Candy Cane Juicie, (which was the free gift in December from Salon Barnes and Barnes where I got my eyebrows waxed a couple of times). Lastly we have mascara, lipstick, liquid concealer, eye shadow stick and eyeliner, also all rubber banded together (I'm all about the rubber bands) for ease in locating during makeup emergencies. All these things have to be settled in just so, interlocking like puzzle pieces, otherwise it doesn't fit. This purse is smaller than my previous purses, so it's at 100% capacity already. As a matter of fact, I had to really downsize the purse contents just to get this stuff in here. That's why you don't see the Uzi, emergency 3 day stash of food, full ratchet set, and magic 8 ball on the list.

In the last compartment we have a pen and post-its (for list making on the go), a small mirror, a tub of Mearle Norman power eye shadow in Locha Mocha (your free gift with purchase of Ultra Golden power foundation!), tweezers, really dull nail clippers, Blistex lip balm, powered blush in Brick Rose, $27 and random change (mostly pennies), and the following cards: credit card, driver's license (with an actual half decent picture, but the wrong address), check card, Food City card, library card (a must!), health care card, Kroger card, dental coverage card, 3 Red Cross certification cards (expired in March) and the list of CPR steps, voting card, gift card to a local restaurant (no longer in business), and the business card of a girl who cut my hair once when my regular girl was out. Sometimes there's a pack of gum in there, but I happen to be out at the moment. Better luck next time.

So there you go. The exciting world of my portable junk daily possessions. Everything I need to get me smoothly through the day. Well, except maybe for the Hope diamond. Having that would definitely help my day go smoother. Except that I'd have to get a bigger purse...

6/5/07 Dr. Honeydew

I've started a new class for summer session. This one is on Management Information Services. The class could be interesting...but its not. There's a whole lot of "The definition of an ethical dilemma is on page 43 of your book" instead of "Discuss the ramifications of data mining vs a right to privacy. Is this an ethical dilemma?". The second would require me to think. The first bores me to tears. Therefore, I spent most of the class having an internal debate on exactly who the professor sounds like, because I know I've heard that voice before. Then it hit me! He's Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets! Remember the professor that invented crazy stuff in Muppet Labs, usually to the detriment of his assistant, Beaker? That's my professor! Not only does he sound exactly like him, but he looks a lot like him too. The squinty (or in Honeydew's case, nonexistent) eyes, the glasses, the baldness. (My professor isn't green, but the rest is dead-on). I've attached a youtube clip below so that you can reacquaint yourself with the glory that is Dr. Honeydew (and Beaker). Just imagine this guy for 4 hours, twice a week. It's enough to make you want to impale yourself on a sharpened banana.

6/1/07 Hurricane Season

Today is the first day of hurricane season, and the Weather Channel people are just giddy about it. Oh, they're trying to look somber and professional, but you can see the gleam in their eyes. (The first thing I do every day when the alarm goes off is to turn on the weather channel. I pretend like I need to know how hot its going to be in order to pick out what I'm going to wear. This is pointless because it's always 72 degrees inside my office no matter what it's like outside. I really just like to snooze until the Local on the 8's comes on). But today is not just any day! It's Hurricane Season! Ratings will skyrocket! They already have people posted at strategic places along the coast, just waiting for it to get nasty.

Official weather channel guy, decked out in full rain gear on a crowded beach: "I'm reporting live here from the some random beach where we're waiting for the hurricane season to begin. Right now the wind is calm and the sun is out...Look at that! That wave looked a little bigger than the last one! Can you zoom in on that? There! See those waves? They must be cresting at about 6 inches! That toddler can barely stand up in them! We'll be here with full coverage as the storm unfolds. Back to you Jim".
Jim (looking serious): "Thanks Mike. You be careful out there".

I guess if your goal is to make weather exciting, you can't really get better than a hurricane. Especially after Katrina. Even two years later, you just say the word hurricane and the whole country perks up. (And rightly so, because as the official Weather Channel video New Orleans Battles to Make a Comeback showed us this morning, the whole area was destroyed). Living in a landlocked state, I don't really worry about hurricanes so much, but I still get drawn in by all the excitement. The weather people do this on purpose. They have a formula for creating edge-of-your-seat weather. First, the anchorwoman will point out a large undefined mass on the screen (this is really a picture of her neighbor's last ultrasound, but Freddie Jr looks so much like a hurricane that no one can tell the difference). Anchorwoman: "See this thing that looks suspiciously like the eye of a baby in the third trimester? It's really the eye...of a storm!" Then they'll rename regular things with catchy titles. A weather report is called, "INTO THE EYE OF THE STORM", and the news studio is referred to as "HURRICANE CENTRAL". They have special code words too. That way the anchorman can lean towards the camera and say, "The rain bands from the eyewall are approaching landfall at 0400, causing the surge to increase as the hurricane upgrades to a category 3 on the Saffir-Simpson scale!" (Doesn't that sound more exciting than "A storm is coming. It's going to rain and the waves are big"?) Finally, they name the storms, to better sound like a serial killer is loose on the streets and bearing down on the unsuspecting public instead of just a bad thunderstorm. "Board up your windows! Flee the area! Charles is coming! Run for your lives!"

What I really love is the sweepstakes that they have going on the website. If you create an official Weather Ready Family Preparedness Plan, you could win a cruise! (Because nothing says weather safety like sailing out in the middle of the ocean during hurricane season!)

So stock up on plywood and bottled water, and stay glued to your TV, because it's HURRICANE SEASON 2007 and the meteorologists can't wait to share it with you!!! In a completely somber and emotionally detached way, of course.