9/14/07 They Must Not Have Storks In Russia

Here's a little something interesting that I came across in Slate today:

The Russian government gave people in the Ulyanovsk province the day off on Wednesday in order to um, produce more little Russians. It's officially called Day of Conception, and couples get the day off to "prepare" for Russia Day on June 12th (exactly nine months from Day of Conception). The idea is to increase the incubation of little patriots in order to raise the declining population of Russia, which has been shrinking due to fewer babies, a shorter life span, and emigration. If you happen to give birth on June 12th, you can get a prize. Grand-prizes range from cash and refrigerators to an new SUV (ironically named the UAZ Patriot).

What happened to all the environmentalists whining about how the Earth was over-populated anyway and that we were outliving our natural resources? What about those countries that were limiting the number of children by law? And how exactly is Russia doing this anyway? Does everyone get this day off, or just couples? And what about children? Are the kiddies out of school on this holiday (which would significantly drop chances of further parental procreation) so that teachers can also get the day off also? What about old people who are beyond child-bearing years? Or barren people? And how does the government make sure that you're dutifully making little Borises instead of say, getting a mani-pedi?

I'm not sure how I would feel about my government commenting on my child-bearing abilities anyway. If they're going to make it my civic duty to have a bunch of kids, they better be sending me a live-in nanny or something. Where is the Secretary of State when it's 4am and little Igor's hungry and Natasha has a dirty diaper? I get the whole declining population and everything, but you'd think that the government would focus on increasing the life span, or improving living conditions so that people won't flee the country first before just making more people. Babies don't do you a whole lot of good if they just leave the country as soon as they can or die from insufficient healthcare.

Just something to be thinking about there, Russia, after you've finished...you know.