10/18/07 OTH- Part Three...Costumes!

There's two things that make Halloween so much fun...costumes and candy. And since we're a week and a half away from Halloween, I think it's time that we discuss costume ideas. People always freak out when trying to find cute costume ideas. Don't worry! Dressing up is supposed to be fun! Let your inner child go free! The way I see it, you can go one of several directions:

1. The "I'm-dressed-up-but-not-really" costume: This is the package of cat/bunny ears on a headband and tail that you wear with your regular outfit. I don't really consider it a costume, but it's a good choice if you need to morph back into "regular" wear quickly, or if you're going somewhere where you aren't sure if you'll be the only one dressed up.
2. Pirates, fairies, witches, cowgirls, etc. These are the staple Halloween outfits. Every year, there are numerous pirates, fairies, witches, and cowgirls. They're popular because they're costumes, but they're traditional. If you want to dress up but not call too much attention to yourself, go with these. But if you're going to go through the trouble of getting a costume, why not push the envelope a little bit? Go crazy!
3. Sexy costumes. Heaven knows that you if you browse through any of those costume websites for women, 99% of them will be some kind of sexy outfit. Personally, I stay away from these because they don't fit into my dress code for work. Plus, dressing up as a French maid or sexy nurse seems a little trashy to me. (Of course, last year the local news guy mistook my costume for a French prostitute, so what do I know?) If you're going to a Halloween party and your lousy cheating ex is there and you want to make him suffer, then go for sophisticated sexy...otherwise, just try for cute. (To see last year's rant about the over-abundance of trashy costumes, click here).
4. Memorable/Funny costumes. If you want a memorable costume, you have to be creative. I think the whole point of Halloween is to be something unexpected, and you just can't do that with a store-bought costume. As a matter of fact, I'll come up with a few costume ideas throughout the year, and then I'll check all the stores to make sure that my idea hasn't been mass-produced. Of course nowadays, those online costume warehouses have thousands of costumes, so it gets harder and harder to be totally unique. My rule is, if your idea is in Wal-mart or on the first page of one of those Halloween websites, it's too popular, and the chances of you being one of five pirate wenches is just too great. And really, when you get right down to it, it's just more fun to make your own out of everyday stuff around the house. Not that you can't get anything from the store (I'm not saying that you have to make your own wig or manufacture your own wax vampire teeth...you'd put those little kids in China out of jobs!...I'm just saying that those complete ensembles that are hanging 20 deep in that Wal-mart aisle totally miss the point).

Two years ago, I won first place in the company costume contest for my Carmen Miranda outfit. Last year, they didn't have a contest, so I figure that means that I retained my gold metal by default. This year, the contest is back, but I don't expect to win again. This year's costume will be more fun to wear, but I don't think it'll be prize winning. It's cute, but it can't beat some random guy dressed in drag, and there's always at least one. People! What is so funny about a guy wearing a dress? Why do they keep winning costume contests? There is no thought behind putting on a dress. There is no creativity! Why do guys in drag keep winning? When I was in elementary school, I came dressed as a tube of toothpaste. Toothpaste! Complete with a lampshade cap and a sheathe with Toothpaste spelled out down my front. But who won? The boy in who wore his sister's cheerleading uniform! Then, when I worked in Virginia, I came as a lightening bug, with a tap light stuck to my butt and homemade wings and antennae, but who won? The guy in drag! Again! (Yes, I am still bitter about it. You would be too. Do you know how hard it is to walk dressed as toothpaste?). The only reason I won with Carmen two years ago was because they were giving extra points for being homemade, and the drag queen guy had purchased his.

So I'm curious, dear Quirky reader(s), who are known for your wit and style and general brilliance, does anyone else dress up for Halloween? Is anyone else out there a "make your own costume" purist, or have we all fallen prey to the evil, overpriced costume superstores? Anyone want to share a favorite costume idea? (It can be yours, or someone else's you've seen). And can anyone explain the humor behind a guy in a dress and bad wig that makes him so popular? Share your secrets. You know how that comment thing down there works.