7/10/08 We Need A Pitcher! Not A Restless Twitcher!

When I was in school, I would spend two evenings a week, at four hours a night, telling myself that when I finally got out of this joint, I wasn't going to do ANYTHING in the evenings. No classes, no study groups, no planned events, nothing. I was just going to go straight home from work and sit in front of my TV like every other red-blooded American. (Or read, because I actually prefer books to TV). But that was it! No going anywhere!

Um Yeah.

You know how long it took me before I added another evening commitment to my schedule? 9 days. 9 whole evenings of going home to sit on the couch and watch mindless television without any kind of planned activity. And don't get me wrong, it was nice. I relaxed, I lounged, I...got really restless.

I'm a doer. I like schedules and plans and having something to do. The aimless sitting? It makes me twitchy.

Which is the only possible reason why I signed up for what I did. The twitching must have addled my brain. It's my only excuse. Because suddenly I find myself agreeing to be on the company's co-ed softball team.

I hear you out there. You're all like, "That's it? Softball? That's nothing to worry about! Softball is fun! I love softball!" But that's probably because you're athletic and enjoy team sports and have even an iota of natural ability. Not so, my friend, with me. (I threw out my shoulder pitching an imaginary ball in Wii baseball. If an imaginary ball puts me on the DL, a real ball could very well kill me.)

And that's just throwing. Batting isn't much better. When I manage to hit the ball, which is no guarantee in itself, it results in a alarmingly high amount of double plays. I am the queen of double plays. (If you're on base in front of me, you might as well go ahead and come back to the bench). And we won't even talk about my lack of depth perception, which causes me to yell "I got it! I got it!" when the ball is actually landing 20' behind me.

But when the company newsletter came out, and I saw the softball sign-up sheet, the twitchiness threw all of the above out the window and I very gamely agreed to make a fool of myself enjoy the company of my peers with a friendly game of softball every Tuesday night for the months of August and September.

Despite my dismal level of play however, the team informs me that we're all just here to have a good time, and it really doesn't matter how bad I am, because it's not competitive AT ALL.

Uh-huh.

Have you ever seen a non-competitive softball team with a bunch of guys? Or even with the other girls, who I have just been informed went to college on scholarships for fast pitch softball?

But the twitch wanted to do something other than watch TV on Tuesday nights, so here I am digging through boxes in the garage looking for my glove from 16 years ago. It should be entertaining to say the least.

Stupid restless twitch.