8/12/08 Why We Never Have Fresh Fruit In The House

Tony: Hey, I'm running to the store. Do you need anything?

Me: Yes, some bananas.

Tony: Okay.

Me: Wait, make sure they're the greenest bananas they have. The ones that are already yellow go brown to quickly. And they get mushy. I don't like the mushy ones. So get green ones.

Tony: Green bananas. Got it.

Me: And make sure you get at least five so I can have one every day this week for breakfast.

Tony: Five Green Bananas. Got it.

Me: But don't get a bunch of like 50 either. No more than 6.

Tony: 5 or 6 green bananas. Check. Anything else?

Me: Grapes.

Tony: What?

Me: I also want a bunch of red seedless grapes.

Tony: (big sigh). Grapes and bananas. Okay.

Me: Not just any grapes. They have to be red seedless. And make sure that they’re the biggest ones you can find. They’ve only had really small grapes lately, and those just don’t taste as good. So make sure they’re the biggest ones you can find. And look under the bag to make sure that they ones on the bottom aren’t all smashed.

Tony:…

Me: And…wait. What are you doing? Why’d you take your shoes off? I thought you were going to the store?