7/ 24/06 Alright! Alright! I'll tell you where Hoffa is...

What's the most vicious way to torture information out of terrorists? No, not bamboo under the fingernails. Not the electric shocks to tender parts of the anatomy. Not even the mutilating of body parts. It's...

FORCING THEM TO MAKE HUNDREDS OF TINY WEDDING FAVORS!

I know how effective this is, because I have been making them for weeks, and at this point, I'd confess to anything if it meant that I didn't have to tie another little bow around another little champagne glass and wrap another set of little flowers around it. There's a simple 200 step process to these wedding favors, and in addition to being mind-numbing dull, they have the added bonus of causing vicious finger cramps after just two or three. It's definitely fine motor skill work, and I obviously have fat, uncoordinated fingers. But I shall suffer on for you, Stepher, because I am the Captain of the Bridesmaids, and it is my sworn duty to sacrifice the future use of my hands to ensure that your guests will have something pretty to ignore while they are at the reception.