11/13/06 Investment strategies

It's the annual re-sign up for your company insurance and 401k options day today. We started with a nice little meeting with HR, where they passed out loads of paperwork and gently let us know that we were too sick and too expensive to keep covering us like they were. Blue Cross Blue Shield claims that they lost something like $450,000 covering us last year, particularly due to the large number of emergency room visits. (I raise my freshly waxed eyebrows at this, because I went to the doctor all of once last year, and BCBS paid about $10 for it; the rest was my deductible). But anyway. Surprise, surprise, premiums are going up this year.

For the 401k, I am lost. I know that I want a 401k, but as to how I want it invested, I haven't a clue. The company, being ever helpful, has listed out about 50 choices of investment opportunities, ranging from The LMNOP 500 Stock Bond Index to mineral mining on the moon. I'm supposed to pick out the ones I want to use, and what percentage to invest in each. After careful consideration, I would like to invest it in Option 42: Hole in the backyard. And maybe the spider commercial one, because I think it's funny when the little spider picks up the barbell.

Luckily, I have a Whit. He's my financial advisor. (I love how grown up that sounds!) Whit keeps up with my money so I don't have to. I give him a call. He's in extraordinarily good spirits because the market has "decided to behave" and apparently the investments that Whit made for me are doing okay. "Have you been studying the reports I sent out to you about your stocks?" he asks. I haven't, and some how I don't think he'd appreciate hearing that when those reports come, I use the unopened envelope as a bookmark for whatever book I happen to be reading at the time. So I blame it on Tony. "Actually, Tony gets the mail now, so I haven't been able to look over them lately". This is technically true, since Tony does get the mail...mostly to keep me from using other unopened envelopes as bookmarks, like the credit card bill for instance. (For the record, I was going to give him that, as soon as I finished the book and didn't need it anymore). Whit admonishes me, but mostly because I'm letting Tony have all the fun of looking at his reports. I think Whit secretly knows that I don't open them, but he's still holding out hope all the same.

I read him the choices so that he can pick out which ones I want. He does his little part to explain the different ones to me, and why he likes this one but not that one, but he doesn't bring up the animated spider commercials, so I guess that's not one of his deciding factors. (Pity). Whit knows his stuff though, and he hasn't embezzled anything from me yet, so as long as he keeps making me money, he can use whatever deciding factors he wants. I still like the funny spider.