11/2/06 Horoscope

I don't believe in horoscopes because they're never accurate for me. They are either so vague "Something really good or really bad will happen today", or they are describing my complete opposite. "Be careful to protect your heart Gemini! That guy that you met at the party while you were drunk won't have the same charm when you both wake up in a holding cell." (Apparently, all the other Geminis are real party people). If I read the horoscopes, it's usually to make fun of them. But while I was working on the Metro Pulse crossword yesterday (still can't figure out the 5 letter word for Hindu Cleric), I saw this horoscope:

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You’re a little off-kilter and out-of-whack these days, Gemini. Don’t worry about it. It’s a natural response to recent plot twists. Fortunately, there is a medicine you can get that will fix you up pretty quickly. All you have to do is spend quality time in nature. One long hike should be enough, though to be absolutely sure you flush the psychic parasites that have been messing with you, two long hikes would be better. To aid in the exorcism and healing, I suggest that you also sing songs and shout out crazy ideas while wandering in the great outdoors. And if you can’t escape to the wild places, at least have a picnic in a park.

Now, it just so happens that I have been a little off-kilter this past week, but I figure that most people are about something, so no points there. And it just so happens that my off-kilterness is the direct result of recent plot twists, but again, no huge shocker to figure out that most people are feeling off because of something that happened. But here's the funny part. I am indeed going hiking this weekend, and when I first signed up for it, I thought, "I can't wait. A nice long walk in the woods will clear my head". (I'm not sure I'll be singing and shouting out crazy ideas though...that must be for party Gemini). I'll give you a half a point for the hiking though.