11/25/06 Thanksgiving Public Safety Announcement

If by chance, you are re-heating your leftover mashed potatoes and gravy from Thanksgiving, and, just by chance, you heat it up to be the same temperature at the surface of the sun, DO NOT PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH!

And if by chance, you did put that forkful of liquid lava masquerading as mashed potatoes into your mouth, and gave yourself third degree burns on your tongue and the roof of your mouth, DO NOT SWALLOW!

And if by chance, your undeniably good manners do not allow you to spew flaming mashed potato embers back out onto your plate, and in a purely knee-jerk reaction, you do swallow the molten spuds, causing severe burns all the way down your throat, DRINK COLD WATER IMMEDIATELY!

And if by chance, your kitty cat knocked over your glass of water minutes before, and you had not refilled it yet, which allowed the boiling blob of starchy tuber to come to rest in your stomach, where it promptly burned all of your stomach lining off, causing intense and excruciating pain for days on end, well, next time you'll remember to let your mashed potatoes cool first, won't you?

This has been a public safety announcement.