5/13/08 I HAD A Dream

I know, I know, you missed me yesterday. I'm sorry. Here's what happened:

On Sunday night, I was having a fabulous dream about a blog that I wrote. (I often drift off to sleep at night writing blogs or short stories in my head, so this isn't that bizarre that the blog continued into my dreams). Anyway, in my dream, this was the BEST. POST. EVER! I had it all written out, and it was funny, and thoughtful, and poignant, and everything a good blog entry should be. And I kept thinking to myself, "THIS IS THE BEST BLOG POST EVER!" and was really very proud of myself for bringing my bloggy game to a whole new level. It was gold, baby, solid gold.

And you know where this is going, don't you?

Yep, woke up the next morning and couldn't remember a single thing that it was about. Not a single thing. Which was really annoying because all night long I kept telling myself to read it over and over again so that I wouldn't forget it. And I even debated about waking myself up and writing notes on it, just to be sure that I got it all down when I really woke up. But alas. In dream world, you never wake yourself up to make notes because you tell yourself that you would never EVER forget something this fabulous.

(Remember the Seinfeld episode where Jerry thinks of a really funny joke in his sleep, but in the morning he can't read the words he jotted down to remind himself?)

I spent all day yesterday racking my brain, trying to remember even a smidgeon of the post that was going to catapult me into international bloggy fame, and no doubt be ripped off by hundreds of graduating high school seniors who would blatantly steal it and read it at their graduation ceremonies (without giving me credit, because that's what they do, but I wouldn't even care because THAT's how good this post was). Nothing. Not one word. And I was so dejected by this that I couldn't even bring myself to come up with something else that would never ever compare to the Post That Never Was.

So there you go. My one chance at bloggy stardom, which would have no doubt landed me a book deal and a spot with Oprah and an invitation to hang out with JK Rowling in her swanky castle, lost to the world. I know, you are all weeping with the injustice of it all. Your lives will never be the same.

The moral of the story is that when you have the perfect post dancing around in your subconscious, GET OUT OF BED RIGHT AWAY NO MATTER WHAT TIME IT IS OR HOW LITTLE SLEEP YOU'VE HAD OR WHAT TIME YOU HAVE TO BE UP THE NEXT MORNING AND WRITE THAT POST! Because no matter what your sleep-induced brain promises you, that post will NOT still be hanging around in the morning.

And instead of bloggy brilliance, all the high school seniors will have to resort back to starting their speeches with, "Webster's dictionary defines success as...". Oh, you know they will.