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5/30/08
Bumper Stickers

A completely random peek into my head while sitting at a routine traffic light yesterday:

Hey look! That car up there has a bumper sticker. What's it say? I can't quite make it out.

*Squinting*.

V-I...Vienna? Looks like the first word is Vienna. That's weird. Who would have a bumper sticker about Vienna? Maybe Vienna sausage? Or they visited Vienna?

Okay, second word...looks like it's 4 or 5 letters long. I think that first letter is a B. Vienna B. Vienna B...Oh! Maybe it's Vienna Boys Choir! Oooooh. Someone has taste and class and sophistication if they like the Vienna Boys Choir enough to put a bumper sticker on their car. I mean, I like the Vienna Boys Choir, but I don't think that I like them enough to put a sticker on my car. Maybe they know someone who is in the Vienna Boys choir! Or they used to sing in it! That would be cool. If that was the case, I'd definitely put a sticker about it on my car. I'd be all like, "Oh this sticker? Yes, I was a world-renowned singer in my youth". Maybe they...

The row of cars in front of me inch forward. I move closer to the bumper sticker.

What's that third word? L-O-V-E-R. Lover? Vienna Boys Lover? Oh hey, that's not cool. That can totally be misconstrued. I don't care if you do like the choir, you can't be driving around with a Vienna Boys Lover bumper sticker. People will think you're a pervert. That's a good way to get your car keyed there, bucko. Unless you really are a pervert, in which case you totally deserve to get keyed. Imagine! Someone driving around with Vienna Boys Lover on the back of their car! You gotta admit that's weird. That's just...

The light changes and I move towards the car.

What's that? Not Vienna...Virginia! Virginia is for Lovers! Not Vienna Boys Lover!

Oh. Hmmm. Well, yes, I guess that makes more sense. And better for the Vienna Boys too.

Although maybe I better look into scheduling an eye appointment soon.

4 comments:

Elaine A. said...

HA HA HA. This totally made me laugh. I can never read those darn things either. What's the point?!

Mrs. Who said...

OMG, that totally sounds like conversations I have with myself in my head ALL THE TIME.

Chickenbells said...

Oh...I do that all the time! I've often said that the world that is happening in my head is so much more interesting, funny, and shocking than the real one!

Momma Quirk said...

You (and your eyesight) are hopeless!