1/29/07 Healthy Living Expo

Mom and I went to the Healthy Living Expo this Saturday (after a hearty lunch at Cracker Barrel because Saturday's are lima bean day, and I LOOOOOOVE their lima beans. Yes, yes, you think I'm crazy, but don't judge me until you've tried them. Best.Lima.Beans.EVER).

Anyway, the Expo was fun. I got a free haircut from Mitchell's Salon and Spa, I got a free chair massage from some other place, I read up on what to look for when buying an elliptical machine (because I'm canceling my gym membership and just getting a machine to use at home instead) and I got told that I could drop dead at any moment.

I'm taking the dropping dead thing with a grain of salt. There was a booth that had a machine that, based on your pulse (taken with one of those little finger clips) tells you if your circulation is strong, and what your heart rhythm looks like, and if you're hydrated or not. (As we stood in line, an overwhelming number of people scored "poorly" on their results. I'm sure that had nothing to do with the healthy heart vitamin drink powder that was also for sale on the table next to the machine). Mom was thrilled to discover she has "the heart of a 33 year old". My heart refused to cooperate. (Always the rebel, my heart). First, the lady running the machine kept "losing" the pulse in my finger, so she had to switch fingers mid-test. Then, instead of sitting quietly and relaxing, I was laughing and carrying on with Mom. So I wasn't overly surprised that the results came back a little wacky. (My heart rhythm looks like the random drawing of a two year old...no pattern whatsoever. I do believe it actually thought I was dead at one point). The technician running the machine was really freaked out. Apparently, my pulse is also all over the place. No big surprise there either. My hydration level? A point 6. (She said the norm was 2). So not only am I sending random Morse code with my heart beats, but I'm also completely dried out. The technician was in shock. Mom was mildly concerned (enough that I have a feeling that I'm suddenly going to find out that I have a surprise doctor's appointment soon). I'm not going to worry about it until someone with a real medical license does a real diagnosis, based on something more reliable than a 3 minute finger pulse test.

Perhaps we should have gone to the chocolate festival instead. At least that way, if I keel over, I can do so with a hunk of chocolate.