5/17/07 Road Trippin'

Last weekend, after Dad's amazing smackdown at the Old Geezer Invitational in Chattanooga, I drove the family back home. (This is because even though Dad can still dive like he's 25, he can't control the fact that his body recovers from said diving like he's 80, so he was exhausted. Mom didn't drive because it was getting close to dusk, and her narcolepsy tends to kick in more when it gets dark, especially when "lulled by the motion of the car"). So that left me, and even through I have been driving without major incident (well, except for that time the dog wrecked the car, but that's a story for another day) for 10 extremely competent years, the decision to hand me the keys still made them hesitate.

Mom: Are you okay with driving?
Me: I'm fine.
Dad: Did you adjust your mirrors?
Me: I already did, Dad. I'm fine.
Mom: You're too close to that car in front of you!
Me: I'm fine.
Dad: There's a red light up ahead.
Me: Okay! Sleepy time for everyone in the car over 40!

Actually, encouraging them to go to sleep can be just as nerve-racking. I remember once when we were all on a family trip to somewhere, and darkness fell upon us. (Flashback waves here). Dad had been driving for the majority of the trip, and was quickly getting sleepy. Mom was already asleep (from that whole "motion of the car" thing above) and since neither of them were all that alert behind the wheel after the hour of 9pm anyway, I was elected to drive. I happen to be a night person by nature, and I was completely awake and willing to do something to pass the time while the rest of the family slept. So we pulled over, everyone did a slow-motion Chinese fire drill, and I ended up in the driver's seat. The trip resumed, and the rest of the family went to sleep. Silence is an unusual thing in my family, so I was enjoying the peacefulness that came with it when all of a sudden, Mom bolted upright in the passenger seat and screamed "WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK!"
I didn't see any truck, but the adrenaline kicked in and I was already swerving to miss it. Dad and Steph woke up at Mom's screaming, so the whole family was yelling and bracing for impact. With all the pandemonium, I figured the heart attack I was having would kill me before the truck ever hit us. Then it occurred to me...Wait a minute, we're on a deserted road! There aren't any trucks in sight! Turns out, Mom was just dreaming that a semi was bearing down on us, and decided that a warning at 300 decibels would be appropriate. It took us all a few minutes to calm down, clean out our pants and get resettled.

Let me tell you, there's nothing like having your life flash before your eyes to make you REALLY ALERT for the next 200 miles.