5/5/07 Drive

It's pretty close to midnight here in the House of Quirky. Tony has long since started snoring and since then I've just been laying here thinking. (A dangerous past-time if ever there was one). I've been mentally going over my life, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm not very special. Average, if you will. (I call this the "10 year reunion" response. My 10 year high school reunion is coming up next year, and I was laying here thinking about what I would tell people about what I've managed to do in the last 10 years). I had hoped, as I guess most people do, to have accomplished something amazing and worthwhile by now. Not just to impress people that I knew only casually 10 years ago, but to feel like all this running around that I spend my day doing has actually added up to something. I had hoped that I would be able to say that I was something important, like a Fortune 500 CEO, or a best-selling author, or an astronaut, or that I found the cure for cancer. Instead, I have an average job, and an average house, and spend my free time trying to keep the bird feeders in the backyard filled. (What kind of birds eat a pound and a half of birdseed every day?!)

Anyway, the army used to have a commercial where the voice-over said, "If someone were to write a book about your life, would anyone want to read it?" (There's video of a guy jumping out of an airplane during all this). And while I can't say that I'd want to join the army and jump out of planes, I'm also forced to admit that even I wouldn't make it through an entire book about my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining! I'm very blessed and I know it. But I've got this drive to take all these blessings that I've been given and make something wonderful out of it. And that's where the trouble starts, because I haven't managed to find my world-changing calling yet. I'm hoping that it's out there, and I just haven't discovered it yet. That I'm still working up to it.

And maybe by the time my 25 year reunion rolls around, I'll have that cure for cancer after all.