2/18/06 On the soap box

Warning: I have pulled out my official box of soap and am preparing to launch a full missile strike against one of my very favorite pet peeves, the "reality" TV show. If you're a fan of "reality" shows and are prone to melodramatic rants towards my comments section (and why wouldn't you be? You learned from the best- the reality show itself) then turn away now, and use this very special time to reflect on what exactly draws you to watch such ridiculous television. (I'm talking about the Survivors, the Wife Swaps, the Apprentice, the Bachelor and Bachelorette, all of those variations where the girl falls in love with the geeks but then chooses the hot guy in the end, the Real World, the Big Brother houses/farms/communes, and the like).

I wish they wouldn't call it Reality TV, because it's not reality, and a lot of it is encouraged, if not straight out scripted. It's just not an accurate cross-section of society. (If it is, then Heaven help us.) There are no "nice" people on these shows. There are no sweet grandmas, or people who would help others and expect nothing back in return, or (gasp!) shy people! There are only spotlight hogging, extremely aggressive people with egos the size of planets. True, the directors want it to be that way because they think that makes for entertaining television. They want there to be controversy. They think that it would be boring if everyone just got along.
So they pick "strong personalities" and create rifts on purpose. Someone who liked everyone, or worse, didn't care if someone didn't like them, would never get on the show. With my common sense, I'd never make it past the first screening. You'd have to be an Ammorosa, or that irritating psycho woman that they're always showing on the promos of the Bachelor, or a Vegetarian, Jewish Mom who gets switched to a household full of Nazi, Deer hunting Carnivores (actually, I think that one airs tomorrow night). Sigh.

What really worries me is that are kids are growing up watching all of this, and they think that acting like this is normal. It's okay to have a screaming match to get your way, or backstab someone that you're supposedly working with, or double-crossing people with secret alliances. Can you imagine people growing up and trying to work in an office like that? It doesn't work, even if Donald Trump pretends it does. It's going to ruin the kids of today, and worse, other countries think that this is how Americans work. They already don't want to work with us because of our incredible egos, but no one is going to want to cooperate with someone who glorifies winning by spreading rumors about all the other candidates. It's all downhill from here, and I blame a lot of it on reality TV. I'm moving to Switzerland.

Now, cue the people who will vehemently defend their favorite show, (fill in blank here). How dare I say that (show contestant) isn't "real" just because they are driven/have the guts to speak their minds/not afraid to look for true love in Paris with 28 hot girls who are all pretending to be someone they are not so that they can be the last girl standing and thereby launch their acting career? Why, if I had half the (characteristic of above mentioned show contestant), I wouldn't write such stupid blogs. (Favorite show here) is wonderful! It's about the American Dream! True love! Fighting scurvy on a tropical island! Just for that, I'm fired! I'm out of the alliance! I'm not going to marry the guy pretending to be rich when he's really a construction worker. I rest my case.